[/caption]Carol Forsloff -- Today's mothers are unique, as "the hand that rocks the cradle" may be difficult to identify anymore with the new families struggling to decide who and what mother is.
The classic image in "Leave It to Beaver" is not the American family of today. Today's mother is apt to work outside the home and have little time to have all the neighborhood kids over for the day. The new world of busy mothers means children are more and more requiring technology to be tethered to the family, as opposed to the dinner hour when everyone gathers around the table to chat about the day.
In La Grande, Oregon and other small towns like Natchitoches, Louisiana one can still find mothers doing the same things they used to but paying for it with their lives. Mothers now die like fathers do on the open roads of life and have the tensions of the work world. But a small town means families that have remained in the town remain close emotionally as well. Yet that is changing as well. Emotional or physical estrangement from many causes has created distances far greater than yesterday's mother found. What's worse is the question: Who is the mother?
These days mothers are stepmothers, big sisters, auntie or the neighbor next door or even the Facebook mom who nurtures everyone.
So what are the dreams of the mothers today, as in the past the responsibility was to care carefully, play with the child and provide guidance for major life directions. Today's mothers dreams of having the time to do that and hoping that, despite a unique relationship that may not be tied to a birth of a child, they will be identified with motherhood in the same way.
Today we will attend a funeral of a stepmother with a family wrenched apart by clashes with the deceased woman's new boyfriend and the step-family, as the children's father had been married twice. So the children have had to make shifts in their lives to accommodate new relationships after a divorce or death. The natural mother of the adult children is seldom mentioned in the mix, as the grown children continue to identify relationships. And the answer to "who is the mother" becomes complicated.
For all those women who have children, have cared for the children of others, who watch over children in the work world or who take the time the time for a little mothering on a street corner of a child's life, congratulations, as new life has been poetically identified as not just the physical but spiritual renewal. Congratulations to all those who offer that kind of relationship and to all mothers who have dreams of a better world for all of us.