Location, location, location: Stereotpes don't work

Carol Forsloff---Often we associate places in the world with sterotypes we pick up from others, through conversations, reading and through media.  But often these views can be faulty, which is why we need to open our eyes to possibilities and a wider view of the world.

New York has been thought of as a bustjing city with indifference, where cabbies are insolent and residents to bosy or indifferent to others.  but one person's experience may be different than another persons, and much of that difference comes from the attitudes and prisms through which we perceive and influence that perception by our own behavior.

In other words how we act and think can make a real difference in what happens when we visit an area where we have never been before.

Here's an example of that.  A smiling, middle aged woman on her first trip to New York found cab drivers friendly, residents generous with time and information, and as a result a three day visit found her able to see the sites and enjoy the city.  Operating from a positive perspective everywhere she went, and without a demanding attitude,  she used these principal,personal ingredients in promoting that pleasant experience.  Rather than focusing on complaints, she looked for what was good in each person or experience and reinforced that when she spoke with clerks, shop people or fellow customers.  Thank you, may I and please were a part of her interactions as well as saying nice things about the day and people she met.

The lesson of this has many uses in how we think about places we visit and what happens to us on those occasions as well.  It is a useful approach to everything we do.  In that sense we become active participants in creating many of the outcomes of what happens in our lives.  It reinforces the adage that we are all masters of our own ships and our own lives.

Attitudes affect our perceptions of events,  even when driving.  You can honk a horn when you're angry and traffic isn't moving the way you want it to, or look around and enjoy the scenery or the moment when you aren't swerving around vehicles, or remember the taste of something good you ate for breakfast and reframe your journey.

It is that reframing and attitude that makes a difference between whether your trip or activity turns out to be good or bad, and in the long run allows you to create a life of misery or of happiness.