Friday, February 15, 2013

How school counselors work to combat bullying

Hillary Gordon — In recent years, there has been an increased focus on bullying in schools, enough to show parents and teachers that bullyingthe typical idea of a schoolyard bully no longer exists. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, and they can inflict physical, verbal, and emotional harm.

The advent of cyberbullying has also changed how people commonly think of school bullies. For the first time in history, bullying doesn't necessarily go away at the end of the school day, and abuse that takes place on Facebook or other social media sites has the potential to cause tragedy. And yet, statistically, the majority of bullying still takes place on school grounds, which means school counselors are at the forefront of the fight to stop it. School counselors should serve as examples to teachers, parents, and administrators when it comes to how to address bullies and their victims. But how do they do that? Effective methods may vary, but they all have the same core principles at the heart of them.

1. Give students incentives to tell

The reality is that over two thirds of students believe adult help is ineffective when it comes to bullying. And they might have a point. A quarter of teachers see nothing wrong with bullies, and they will only interfere in bullying less than 5 percent of the time. School counselors have the tough job of educating adults as well as students about bullying and convincing students that if they speak up about being bullied, something will be done about it. With the national attention that's been put on the problem of bullying, many schools are considering to reinvent the way they think about it. And school counselors have started many programs across the country, not only to encourage young people to tell their stories but also to make sure teachers and educators in their schools understand that a child's suffering should never go ignored or be dismissed as part of growing up.

2. Counsel both the victim and the bully

Schoolyard bullies can be particularly difficult kids for some counselors to handle, but it's important to remember that not all bullies are the same. Counselors play an integral part of getting to the root of a bully's behavior and helping them develop a greater empathy for others. When they find out their actions are being scrutinized by adults, some bullies can feel ashamed or remorseful with very little encouragement. It's also important to sit down with the victim of bullying, because it can have such a devastating impact on a young person's self-esteem. This is especially true when the student has been the victim of verbal and emotional abuse. They need someone to help them feel like the bully's words aren't true, and the school counselor can make a huge difference in a child's self-worth by being that person. Sometimes, counselors even act as mediators, bringing the bully and their victim together to reach a better understanding.

3. Help teach diversity and positivity

Bullying as a result of racism or homophobia isn't the most common type of bullying, but it can be the most serious. Besides teaching children tolerance, counselors play an important role in teaching children to respect each other regardless of their outer differences. Many counseling programs in middle school and high school focus on positive behavior and helping students recognize their own negative, bully-like actions. Counselors can meet one-on-one with students, hold group sessions, or teach classes that stress the importance of treating other people with kindness. It's only by making the school environment more positive that there is hope for eradicating bullying.

Kids these days have a lot more to worry about than someone trying to take their lunch money, and that's why counselors have a tougher job than ever before. But more than anything else, a school counselor is there to listen. No matter what the situation online, on the bus, or in the lunch room, it's important for every student to know they are heard.

 

About the Author

Hillary Gordon writes about therapy and counseling.

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