Visitation rights and who gets the kids at the holidays

[caption id="attachment_21893" align="alignleft" width="300"] Christmas is a time for families[/caption]

Leanne Jenkins---One of the important parental rights is the one having to do with the custody and visitation of children. At the holidays, who gets the kids is often that “bone of contention” that gets in the way of relationships and the harmony that is supposed to be part of good cheer.

Each state, and country for that matter, has its own laws referencing parental rights for both custody and visitation. Who gets the children during the holidays is sometimes worked out in court and sometimes decided by the parties involved. But in any case, it isn't usually something that works out easily during times of dissension, stress and balancing the needs of others against one's own.

Research has found that children fare better when both parents are involved in their lives. Still one parent or another may quibble about how much involvement the other parents should have. And still others are concerned about whether or not the other parent has any involvement at all.

This is what the law says in general about visitation rights, according to an expert on the subject: Ultimately the noncustodial parent has rights to a possession order that dictates when and how the person may spend time with his or her child. This is commonly known as vistation. If he or she is fit to be involved in the child's life, the noncustodial parent has a right to visitation time. A court-determined schedule lays out a plan for weekends, holidays, celebrations and more.

This is often what is worked out between parents and the courts and is a usually standard way of dealing with visitation during the holidays: New Year's Eve, Easter, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Thanksgiving and Christmas are the types of holidays spent with one parent one year, the other parent the following year. Mother's Day is spent with the mother and Father's Day with the father. These customs can often prevent conflicts when it is time to schedule visits.

So as the Christmas season is fraught with good and bad memories, good and bad events and conflicts as well as harmony, there are ways to find that happy meeting ground that works for parents and child alike. Looking to the guidelines as outlined here can be helpful.