Bullying: the cycle of abuse found in birds and humans

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Carol Forsloff - Larry ran home from school with six boys chasing, egged on by one of the louder, more aggressive of the boys, the leader and the bully whose popularity attracts power, as happens not just in schoolyards but in life and politics, a tactic that is used to do great harm to individuals and communities.

A new science study on birds reveals that not just humans grow up to be bullies if they have been victims themselves. The finding that abused Nazca bird babies become victimizers later on  verifies the social science research that has found the cycle of abuse in humans means the child who is bullied and abused is likely to victimize his/her own children.

The bully is often an anxious, fearful individual whose poor self concept is elevated by exerting control over others. The bully boy finds chasing Larry a way to secure a following, to ensure he has a base to make pronouncements after all. The crowd of children he attracts finds being part of the bully’s gang keeps any of them from becoming a target, as the “in group” members would thought of as safe.

People give power to bullies because of their own fears. They see how the bully exercises power and worry they may be next. The bully’s target particularly lives in fear because he or she never knows when and how pain will be delivered.

While many people think of bullies only at work and at school, these individuals are everywhere, using a variety of mechanisms to control. For some, a terrible silence added to the look of contempt can hurt every bit as words hurled in high decibels across a playground. Barbara Coloroso tells us in “The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander, “Bullying is not about anger . It is not a conflict to be resolved, it’s about contempt –a powerful feeling of dislike toward someone considered to be worthless, inferior or undeserving of respect. Contempt comes with three apparent psychological advantages that allow kids to harm others without feeling empathy, compassion, or shame. These are: a sense of entitlement, that they have the right to hurt or control others; an intolerance towards difference; and a freedom to exclude, bar, isolate, and segregate others.”

Multiplied by many, bullies can become a group, a powerful group with members attracted to the controlled sureness of the leaders, the aggressive speech, and the resolve to be one of the powerful in association with the bully to avoid becoming a target. This can help form extreme political parties or individuals who attract followers who act out what some interpret as rage, sometimes in violent ways.

The bully is therefore a Hitler, Stalin, Osama bin Laden, or the neighbor, and to end the behavior, experts tell us, adults in authority and peers need to get involved. In other words, it takes a village to end bullying, so that people become aware of its harm to communities and to themselves.

Kids who bully likely to have sleep problems

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Carol Forsloff - “What this study does is raise the possibility that poor sleep, from whatever cause, can indeed play into bullying or other aggressive behaviors – a major problem that many schools are trying to address,” is  a summary statement researchers say is good information for prevention of  bullying behavior.

Louise O’Brien, Ph.D., assistant professor in U-M’s Sleep Disorders Center and the departments of Neurology and Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery maintains further, “Our schools do push the importance of healthy eating and exercise, but this study highlights that good sleep is just as essential to a healthy lifestyle.”

Some of the children involved in the study reported by the University of Michigan had breathing problems during sleep, leading to daytime drowsiness.  O’Brien believes that improving sleep can help inhibit bullying behavior and that additional research is needed in this area as part of prevention programs and to further refine understanding of aggression in children and the various causes of it.

This information coincides with other expert findings about the nature of sleep and its impact on behavior.  For example, sleep problems have been found in children with Attention Deficit Disorder.  Parents with ADHD children report 50% of them have sleep problems.

In a study of 184 young adult and adolescent offenders reported in PubMed,  it was found that anger and aggression correlated highly with sleep difficulties.  Both reduced quality and quantity of sleep were involved in the relationships found.  Increased hostility and aggression was found to be associated with reduced hours of sleep or particular difficulties in the quality of sleep.

Aggression was found to relate both to the quantity and quality of sleep reported, with reduced quantity and quality predicted by increased overall aggression. Across aggression subscales, only increased hostility was predictive of reduced current hours of sleep and increased problems in sleep quality. Apnea risk scores were not predicted by aggression, anger, or impulsivity. Differences in sleep behavior before and during prison were demonstrated, with evidence for increased poor sleeping habits within detention. No differences were observed between young and juvenile offenders.

Is your workplace free of bullying?

 

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EDITOR -  Ruth Sirman works as a
mediator with companies, schools and individuals.  She observes there are serious similarities between schoolyard and workplace and certain signs and symptoms.  Do you have this problem in your workplace?




This is Sirman's
perceptions of the issue as noted in a recent press release on the
subject of workplace bullying.  She notes that understanding what
bullying is in the workplace is one of the most important steps in
eradicating it.

It is certainly a hot topic, with organizations
organized specifically against bullying, newspapers covering the topic,
states considering special regulations to stop workplace bullying,
attorneys targeting bullying, and conversations taking place in the
boardroom as well as the schoolroom on the toxicity of workplace
bullying.

Sirman says as a
mediator, "the main difference between school yard bullying and
workplace bullying is the height and age of the players. Other than that
they are scarily similar and very familiar to many of us who have
witnessed or lived one or both scenarios.

Because Sirman works as a
mediator she is able to look at not just the statistics on the cost of
workplace bullying, but the  how organizations can
prevent these problems from happening by knowing some of the signs and symptoms:

- Recognizing the
warning signs of a ‘Culture of Condoning’ that may be silently
supporting and rewarding inappropriate actions or behavior that include:

o Inappropriate jokes particularly at the expense of particular groups or individuals

o Apologies that seem
insincere or that are offered repeatedly – “Sorry - I probably shouldn’t
tell this joke” or “Oops – I need to watch out for the Harassment
Police!” or similar off the cuff remarks

o People who seem overly nervous, quiet or reluctant to render an opinion or take a stand

o Comments such as “Oh
that’s just the way ___ is – s/he doesn’t mean anything by it” or “You
don’t want to bring that up – the last thing you want to do is get ___
gunning for you…”

Knowing the path and the characteristics of bullying in the workplace is an important step in eradicating the hurt and the impact on the workplace culture Sirman reminds us.

"The key to prevention
and addressing the situation is a recognition that this can and does
happen – even in the best of situations. And when it does show signs of

happening, it will not get better by ignoring, denying or minimizing it. "