How can you be sexy in menopause?

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel--Cougar and cub

Carol Forsloff - "Feeling sexy and being sexually active is good for one's health and
sense of well-being.  It is good exercise and slows down aging."  That's the message of the American Association of Retired Persons and sex experts for menopause.

One of the most important ways a woman has of measuring her femininity is how sexy she feels, and there are some good reasons to be optimistic by following some scientific suggestions.

What social scientists and doctors say is that menopause should not signal the end of the love affair.  Great sex can occur after menopause,after the reproductive years and the frets and worries during that
period of time.

Some women expect to lose their sex drives after menopause,  but it isn't true it disappears.  Sexual intimacy is an ongoing thing and has many dimensions.  One's desire for sex doesn't decrease with age nor is it a symptom of menopause.

Indeed some women feeling sexier during and after menopause.  It's then, when there is a decline in men's function, and the need for a little more effort to be made in the experience, sex can still be satisfying for both partners.

Couples experiencing difficulty may want to seek out a sex therapist's advice.

Lack of desire at that certain age often accompanies certain physical and emotional factors, such as stress or depression.  This is why it is important for the woman to be open with her partner and her gynecologist.  Very often women don't want to talk about intimate issues with doctors, but doing so can help facilitate the solution for sexual dysfunction.  Experts tell us that the sex drive does not necessarily go away, and that the decline in desire is gradual.  And folks can perk it up with practice and playful interactions.

There are also ways to overcome vaginal dryness that affects some women's interest in sex.There are other aids to help the physical interaction during sex so that it is less painful.

Safe sex is also important to prevent transmitted diseases.

Experts remind us that healthy sex is healthy for the mind and body, especially during aging.  In fact they say because children are not around to interrupt and a couple have time to play together, sex can actually be better.  Besides there are new tools and a social permission slip from changes in the culture that unleash a variety of ideas for sex play and performance.

The conclusion from those who study safe sex with older adults and the function and satisfaction of sex life-long  is if you are saying to yourself  or your partner at menopause, you're too old for sex, you're wrong.  Think of some other excuse.

Granny gets her man; senior online dating

Online dating sites are everywhere it seems, as they are advertised on the Internet and on television in ways that entice people to sign up so they can meet that love of their dreams. Every age and cultural category appears to have its own particular dating site, with overlaps as well, so people can join a site that has every race and age and those sites exclusive to one particular demographic. But do these sites work out well for seniors looking for love or to love again and can Granny get her man that way?



Consumer rankings.com offers the best five they believe are best for seniors, beginning with Zoosk, they describe as “hands down the best dating experience.” After that is Our Time, eHarmony.com, Mate1.com, and Match.com. Consumer ranking tells us the latter site offers the greatest number of potential matches with its more than 9 million members.



With these sites to choose from, seniors have an opportunity to find companionship or that permanent relationship others seek. Still it is a new way of meeting people that might either confuse or amuse a senior.



George joined one of these groups. He just retired at age 65 and said he was ready to find someone he might be compatible with for outdoor activities. George is an avid sportsman, enjoying fishing, hiking, boating and outdoor activities. He lives in Florida, a place that offers opportunities to meet many senior women, but George said he would “give it a try” as he wanted to find out if the dating service might be superior to just incidentally and accidentally meeting some woman, then being disappointed, as that had been his experience with the local scene.



So George investigated Our Time.com. He was impressed with the photos at first. Many of the women were somewhat younger than George, although there were women older and younger as well. He decided to take a chance, went through the procedure of filling out information and signing up. After providing a general description of himself and offering his email for identification and contact purposes, he browsed the site to see who he might want to meet.



It was fun at first, he said, but after several matches he found that the women weren't quite as described. Many of them said they were sports-minded, but when he met them, they seemed to know little about his areas of interest. He determined their answers about sports were a ploy to make contact, and he wondered what else might be hidden, information he might find disappointing.



For George, the online dating was an amusing interlude that somehow didn't compare with “the real thing” as he describes it. He said, “I like to meet women in person not online, I guess. It's okay to make friends, but I guess I am old-fashioned and find it all a little bit intimidating.”



George is one among many who try online dating services and are disappointed. On the other hand, there are success stories as well, as each site has its share of testimonials.



Senior Life offers information for seniors who want to participate in an online service in order to find that special someone. The site claims seniors are joining these online dating sites at greater and greater numbers, since the social contacts seem to be more limited for seniors in general. The advice from senior life to seniors is not to be tempted to lie about age or looks and not to fall for the best looking person right away. Take time to study pictures and biographies, read carefully, and make a careful, thoughtful choice is the major advice offered.



Because online dating is growing, AARP teamed up with an online dating site to offer services for seniors. That online dating site is called HowAboutWe, that not long after it began had 1 million members. The desire to find a match has been a growing phenomenon online, so it appealed to AARP, an organization committed to looking for interests that correspond with senior needs.



HowAboutWe has a unique concept. That concept offers people a chance to make a recommendation on how to meet and what to do, as clues for compatibility and interest. It might be “How about we sit in on a ukulele class” or “How about we take a walk along the river near downtown,” activities in the local area that might be appealing.



A senior living site quotes Erin Scottberg, media director for HowAboutWe.com as saying “allowing seniors to come up with fun activities is a 'much more natural, organic way to get an idea of somebody's personality than a static, one-dimensional profile. As further explained on the site, “Seniors can use these date ideas to find others who share similar interests and presumably carry out the activities once they find a match.” The site offers suggestions and allows seniors to come up with their own ideas as well.



Approximately 20% of those participating in online dating services are seniors. They are attracted more and more to the convenience of the Internet and the broad way of offering social contacts that allow privacy and yet some level of protection at the same time. Seniors can choose where and how they meet and chat and write extensively even before meeting in person. Various news programs have underlined the growth of senior online dating, and as the sites continue to grow in popularity, they must be doing something right, as there are now more than 1000 dating sites to serve an ever-growing need to find the right person, no matter the age.

Age discrimination. Should you sue?

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Editor - NEW YORK, NY, - The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and a number of New York employment discrimination lawyers  report an increase in age discrimination lawsuits, as more and more seniors complain they are finding their age counts against them when looking for a job in the economic downturn.

"Age discrimination is an equal opportunity problem. Members of all races, genders industries or regions can be affected," said David Perecman, with over 30 years of experience handling employment discrimination and sexual harassment in the workplace claims in New York.

An age discrimination lawsuit (Civil Action No. 1:11-cv-11732-DJC) was filed by the EEOC against Texas Roadhouse restaurants recently.  The Texas Roadhouse represents 350 restaurants where it is said older applicants were rejected because of their age.
Laurie McCann, senior attorney for AARP tells us that the reason many people don’t file complaints is because age discrimination is very difficult to prove.   Instead of waiting until you're laid off and filing a complaint, it may be better to protect yourself sooner, says McCann, and take preemptive measures.

What are these preemptive measures?  McCann says, "Take advantage of any sort of training, especially in computer skills and technology. Make sure you're not getting behind. Maintain your professionalism, down to your dress and hairstyle."  She also says getting feedback from a manager is important in a courtroom where an employer might have to explain why he or she fired someone who was given a good review.  Lori Rassas, an attorney and author, reminds folks also that it’s age related factors that are important, so the saying a person has too much experience could be a clue to age discrimination.

Should you sue if you’re not hired for a job?  Experts like Rassas say age discrimination is even more difficult to prove.  “It’s harder to do,” she says, “It’s not worth it. “

Adrian Crawford, an  employment partner at law firm Kingsley Napley, maintains,: "It is noteworthy that while age discrimination claims are still a long way behind sex discrimination, they are now catching up with disability claims and have overtaken race-related claims to be the third most frequent type of discrimination action.

"Everybody has an age so anyone can potentially formulate an age discrimination claim. This may explain why there are already so many claims even before we have felt the impact of the abolition of the default retirement age, which is likely to lead to a huge increase in age discrimination claims.



.

Bush opens up to AARP editor about his controversial Presidency

WASHINGTON,
- PRN - GHN News Editor - Former President Bush is making the rounds of
all the talk shows and magazine covers, now gracing the new cover of
AARP magazine, as an elder statesman, with controversies continuing to
follow his career.

On

Wednesday, November 10, Bush appeared on the Today Show, interviewed by
Matt Lauer.  He has been interviewed and scheduled to be by Larry King,
Oprah and others, underlining during interviews to date that he regrets
for the most part nothing and maintains the principal decisions he made
during his tenure as President were correct and done in good faith.

Vice President and Editor Nancy Perry Graham of AARP sat down with President Bush at his Crawford, Texas
ranch for an exclusive interview which unveils surprising truths behind
the man whose public image was defined by an unyielding commitment to
his principles and what he believed was best for the country.

Standing on the front step of his Texas home, Bush reflects on the most momentous—and controversial— decisions in his life, including wars in IraqAfghanistan, the global financial crisis, substance abuse, and his enduring marriage. 

After
stepping out of the media spotlight for the past two years, he also
opens up about his future for the first time, speaking out about his
plans for retirement (he thinks it's an old-fashioned term), his desire
for grandchildren (he's disappointed it hasn't happened yet), regrets
(not finding Osama Bin Laden), and much
more. On how he is planning for the future, President Bush says, "Your
life is just not going to unfold the way you want it to, there will be
surprises, challenges, and therefore the question is how you deal with
the unexpected."

The following are excerpts from the upcoming AARP The Magazine cover story featuring former President George W. Bush, which covers the six "R"s that define his post-presidential life and are available online NOW at www.aarp.org.

On Reinvention

"It's
a word that doesn't fit into my vocabulary. Reinvention means you're
kind of recreating somebody. Well, I'm the same person, in terms of
values. My priorities haven't changed."

"I'm
in a transition period from presidency to active citizenry. I want to
go 100 mph again—well, maybe not 100. Maybe 80. I want to live out
principles that became a part of my life in my '40s, '50s and '60s."

"I
feel a sense of obligation to our troops and their families because of
the decisions that I made. So I am involved with veterans."

On Staying Mum About the Current Political Debate

"I
really think it's important for presidents to exit the stage
gracefully. 'Statesman' gives the impression that every time a major
issue comes up, I'll be popping off. And that's not what's going to
happen."

"Hopefully
I'm sending a signal that will help set a tone. In other words, I think
that not criticizing my successor is a statement unto itself, in terms
of trying to create an environment that people are able to have a
meaningful discussion or debate without trash talk."

On Regrets from His Time in Office

"The
decisions I made are done. And history will judge whether or not they
were correct... so I'm comfortable that I made the best decisions I
possibly could."

"We
had an opportunity to reform Social Security in a way that would have
protected people's benefits and created a solvent system. Younger
workers would be confident that the money they were putting into the
system would be available to them when they retired. It was a missed
opportunity. I regret that."

"I regret not finding Osama Bin Laden.
I regret the fact that Saddam didn't have weapons of mass destruction
that we thought. I don't regret removing him from power."

"Oftentimes
history judges you on the decisions you make. They don't judge you on
what would have happened in the absence of a decision. I believe the
world would have been a lot worse off if Saddam would be in power
today."

On Risk-Taking

"It's important to take risks. I'm talking about living life to the fullest... Part of life is seizing the moment."

"The
key thing about life is to be true to a set of beliefs. And to be
genuine. What mattered to me was that I didn't compromise my soul in
order to try to achieve a kind of popularity."

On the Media and His Controversial Reputation

"In
terms of what people think about me, the truth of the matter is, I
guess I care to a certain extent, but not enough to go out in the public
and plead for some kind of new understanding of me. I served. And now
it's time for the new man to serve. I have zero desire to be in the
limelight."

"There
was plenty of trash talk during my presidency. A lot. And I did not
engage in it. But a lot of the reason why the debate is acrimonious is
because of the 24/7 news cycles, blogs and people being able to just
throw something out there in order to get attention."

On picking Dick Cheney to be his Vice President

"Dick Cheney
was a fine vice-president. Glad I picked him. I was pleased I picked
him from the beginning, and I was pleased I picked him in the end. He
didn't agree with me on every issue. I didn't expect him to. But when I
made up my mind, he supported the decisions, as did everybody else in
the administration. And frankly, if they couldn't support the decisions,
it was time for them to move on."

On his Relationship with wife Laura Bush

"I
meant it when I said she was the greatest First Lady ever. Because she
viewed the presidency and the First Lady as an opportunity to improve
people's lives. It wasn't a burden. She put her heart and soul into the
experience, just like I did. So we had a shared experience. That makes a
good marriage better."

"In many ways our marriage is great because she has made it great."

"It's interesting that we spend less time with each other now than we did during the Presidency."

"She's
busy and I'm busy which makes our marriage not only interesting but
exciting. It's exciting for me to see her busy and out there enjoying
what she's doing. But we always make time for each other."

On Becoming a Grandparent

"I'm
a little disappointed it hasn't happened yet. But the more
disappointment I show, the less likely it is things are going to happen
on the time table I want."

On Retirement and Advice to Boomers

"You never retire. At least I don't retire. I'm active."

"I'm
just beginning to live the next chapter of my life. It's the
introductory pages. In other words, politics...is not the end of my
life."

"My
advice to seniors—and I consider myself one—is to first and foremost
take care of your body. Secondly find something where you could say 'I'm
helping somebody else.' And it may be just helping raise a grandkid. Or
teaching a child to read."

"One
of the things I learned as President is that your life is just not
going to unfold the way you want it to, there will be surprises,
challenges, and therefore the question is how you deal with the
unexpected."

On his New Book

"I hope my friends read it and say, 'Now I understand.' I hope my detractors read it and say, 'Well, I better understand.'"