What makes the golden years golden?

[caption id="attachment_4682" align="alignleft" width="196" caption="Bea Arthur"][/caption]

Carol Forsloff - Part of what makes those relationships so golden during the golden years is that people of all ages are more likely to forgive and respect one's elders, according to research from Purdue University.

Older adults report better marriages, more supportive friendships and less conflict with children and siblings," a researcher reports.  So what makes those golden years golden?

Current studies show the attitude of older adults plays a big part in this.

Karen Fingeman, the Bener-Hanley Professor in Gerontology, Development and Family Studies goes on to say, "While physical and cognitive abilities decline with age, relationships improve. So what is so special about old age? We found that the perception of limited time, willingness to forgive, aging stereotypes and attitudes of respect all play a part. But it's more than just about how younger people treat an older person, it's about how people interact."

Earlier research has also pointed out older adults are less confrontational than younger adults when they get angry.

Present conclusions about aging and relationships came out of investigation of sets of adults and observations and measurements of styles of interaction.  Sets of both young and older adults were used in the study.

What researchers found is, "Each person is acting and reacting in response to his or her partner, and, in this case, each partner is anticipating the next person's move, and that determination is often based on age," she said. "People vary their behavior with social partners depending on their age. When there is a negative interaction, younger people are generally more aggressive and confrontational than older people are. But younger people often are more accommodating to older people when there is a negative interaction."

She explains that for example, an older adult may be more cordial because of the assumption that a younger person may be confrontational. At the same time, the younger adult may conform to age stereotypes that indicate they should be more patient with an older person or they may hold stereotypes that older adults cannot change and do not attempt to change this person.

"Also, with age, people get better at regulating their emotions when something upsets them," Fingerman said.

"The other advantage is that older people often have more opportunity to select who they want to associate with because they are retired and do not go to work."

Other reasons for better treatment of older adults that they live in the moment and cherish it more.  This also happens when people are dying, moving out of state, or leaving an area for some reason.

"We've also seen this in studies when adult daughters don't want to confront their elderly mothers or discuss negative things with them because they feel there is little time left with them," Fingerman said.

Fingerman plans to study how the "need to respect one's elders" plays a role in other cultures, as a follow up to her present research.

But while research indicates the golden years can be a very special time, what happens in old age is often determined by one's health and the access to appropriate medical care.  It is also important for elders to have transportation and a good social support system, as these are also important in establishing a healthy future long-term for the elderly.  Social research reminds us why elders behave as they do and how they formulate their philosophies of aging and how to interact with others, but the actual living longer is also impacted either negatively or positively by how seniors are treated by the societies in which they live.