[caption id="attachment_3515" align="alignleft" width="281" caption="Mother rocks baby to sleep on a swing"]
[/caption]A new book available for pre-sale on amazon is becoming a buzz on the internet. It may look like a children’s bedtime story, but the book titled “Go the F@%k to sleep” is a parody of a bedtime story aimed at adults. The book is a work of a frustrated sleep- deprived father who felt that there needed to be more people sharing the very real pressures of parenting. The author, Adam Mansbach, is the father of a 2-year-old daughter named Vivian who recently subjected him to the torture many parents go through with a child that just will not go to sleep.
Adam is joining the many parents who are speaking out about the pressures of parenthood. He reveals what many parents know, that we are not the only ones who ever thought “Go the F@#k to sleep.” His honesty is a step in the right direction, according to some psychologists. In January a survey conducted by Netmums revealed that most mothers lied about their parenting skills when in the company of others. In this culture of parenting, keeping up with the Jones’ isn’t defined by materialism as much as it is defined by the progress of their children and the goal of perfect parenthood.
Bedtime routines are essential to a functioning household. How many times has the bedtime routine been a major complaint on episodes of Super Nanny? People may pass judgment on the frustrated parents in public, but at home many say, “Wow that is my household!” The inner dialogue of a parent during these times may sound much like the creative stanzas in Mansbach’s book.
Sleep deprivation is literally torture for the sufferers. There are also health consequences related to sleep deprivation that can accumulate and cause problems in later life. A world of tired parents pay heed: the Geneva Conventions say so!
The real and serious truth is that sleep deprivation can lead to a dangerous and unhealthy atmosphere for baby, and no amount of “suck it up and deal,” or “ I did it so can you,” pep talks from parents and relatives is going to help. A lack of sleep can cause many mental and physical health conditions as well as social upset. Sleep deprivation is known to cause the symptoms of major depression. With women already getting postpartum depression, adding extreme fatigue to the mix is not going to make things better for family and baby.
It is important that parents realize theyare not alone in this time of trial. Sleep deprivation among new parents is on the rise as more children are born with medical conditions such as low birth weight and asthma which tends to lead to colic. For parents of colicy babies there is really nothing to be done except to comfort your child until that period of time is over. However, for parents of normal healthy children there are many ways to avoid sleep deprivation.
Here are a few tips from a mother of four who has had the experience of success and failure in the bedtime department.
1) Children under 6 months old need a binky or pacifier. Sucking is their only way of self-soothing until they further develop. After 6 months I have found success in hiding binkies until nap or bed time, and by a year weaning them completely. I learned the balance of this the hard way with my first son who would not give it up till he was three and I finally perfected it by number four. As a side note studies have shown binkies help prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
2) Rocking a baby is a great way to help them calm down. The motion is soothing and mimics the feeling of mom walking while baby was in the womb. You love a hammock in the wind, and so does baby.
3) Put baby close to your chest so they can hear your heart beat as that sound was the most prevalent sound for the first 10 months of their developing life. You may even want to do kangaroo care, which is to allow the baby to be clothed in only a diaper and lay on your bare chest. The simple feel of a mother or father’s skin can not only comfort but has also caused miraculous recovery for sick infants.
4) Stay Calm. A baby can feel your stress in the way you talk, the way you walk, and how tense your muscles are when you hold them. Ever wonder why babies fall asleep easier after you pass out? That is why. I have found that smiling at my children and looking into their eyes not only calms them down, but also calms me down.
5) If you do not want to do Kangaroo care then wrapping baby properly and somewhat tightly in its blankets will make it feel secure. Everyone likes to be tucked in; this is just a step further and also mimics the feeling of being in the womb.
Those are just a few tips on how to get a fussy baby to sleep. A sleep schedule is important as well, but you want to develop one that is right for your family. Some families will allow a child to cry themselves to sleep. This method seems a bit harsh but it is a step in the direction of self-reliance when a child is older. This is also the most painful method for parents who naturally respond to a baby’s crying and want to soothe their little bundle of joy. Of course any bedtime routine can be difficult as it takes a while to put one into place. Do not attempt to do this alone if you are already sleep deprived. Ask for help from a family member or consult your doctor. The doctor may prescribe you a safe sleep inducing drug to give to baby at bed time till he or she is used to the schedule. (Please if you do go this route do not abuse the method or the child will become reliant on the chemical for any sleep).
So at night when you are rocking your crying child, and feel like crying yourself, remember you are not alone. Perhaps this excerpt from the book “Go the F*#k to sleep” will bring you some comfort.
The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.
