[/caption]Vincent Sobotka - Traditionally, among societies world-wide, the expectation is that children will make a gender identity quickly and efficiently. How societies impart this expectation can significantly impact the child's development, and the culture as a whole; and no more are the issues more colorfully defined than in what is called "the princess complex."
Cultural expectations are often cuffed with presumptions that children will advance in line with the expected gender and do so with their choices in recreational activities, dress and with age-sexual orientation and occupation. Research is sparse in the area of sexual identification at an early age and how public integration occurs, but there are theories based upon what has happened in different cultures that can give some clues.
In many Western cultures, some sort of provocative attire is common enough that most people don't pass judgment so long as the person's attire is appealing. It is also common to see modern fashion trends that have periodically directed the foundations of gender identification. There is much to know about fashion and how it impacts sexual identification that can be seen in the discussion about young Dyson Kilodavis whose mother, Cheryl Kilodavis, published the controversial picture book My Princess Boy in late 2010. There is in fact some tradition in how some children learn how to act, dress and behave as their sex type opposite at a very young age.
Cheryl’s inspiration for the book came after numerous failures to redirect her eldest son, Dyson, away from dresses and clothes of his favorite colors; pink, purple and red. The book sprouted from Cheryl’s journals of self-exploration, as she told the Today Show in a January 2011 interview. Cheryl has since developed global biases of fans and critics. Few know, however, that what Dyson chooses to don every day is not that different from what Victorian boys wore at his age. During that era red and other bright colors were considered masculine, while blue was feminine, the opposite of many modern cultures. Child Psychologist Dr. Laurie Zelinger, PhD, stated in an interview what she would deem as an appropriate approach, “I would not give clothing choices for formal functions where there are expectations for attire, but I would allow choices at school and home.” Dr. Zelinger also expressed that she believes choosing underwear for the opposite gender, though, can certainly result in confusion.
While the consequences of allowing children such liberty for choosing their clothing have not been case documented, Dr. Zelinger did claim recent studies have shown “more boys asking for dolls and cooking activities” in their letters to Santa. “Research shows that college educated parents introduce their children to more toys that are not gender bound,” said Dr. Zelinger.
[caption id="attachment_7484" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Dr. Laurie Zelinger"]
[/caption]It can be difficult for parents to allow a child to make his/her own choices at a young age. But Canadian couple Kathy Witterick and David Stocker received scrutiny for just that after making the news around the same time as Cheryl Kilodavis. The couple refrained from disclosing the sex of their baby while sending out e-mail birth announcements upon the arrival of Storm, the couple’s third child. The pair justified their decisions as “a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation,” while identifying to critics the success that such an approach has had with their other children.
“I would guess that withholding the baby’s gender from the public and giving (him or her) an androgynous name is probably only one unusual idea among others which they hold,” said Dr. Zelinger of the couple who has also been accused of deprivation and unusual lab experiments. Dr. Zelinger, however, continued with minor support of the couple’s decision, “I applaud their intent to raise their children without bias; however, they still need to help their child form an identity.” Dr. Zelinger, among other professionals, named gender and perception of one’s own characteristics as one of several ways a child learns to connect with his/her identity
When a child assumes a sexual identity opposite to the cultural expectations, there are can be both internal and external conflicts. It makes a difference in whether or not children make progress in their own lives and how the messages we give, sometimes unconsciously, can either hurt or promote the growth of a healthy concept.
