Romancing the killer: Why women marry death row inmates

Ted Bundy, infamous serial killer

Beverly is 38, divorced and a mother of two school-aged children, who married a death row inmates.  Like Beverly there are many women who are fascinated by men who kill, but what makes such women choose a killer for romance?



Eleven years ago The Guardian wrote an article about such women as Beverly, posing the question why women are drawn to men in prison. The article documents the backgrounds and behaviors of some of these women, offering initially the fact that prison romances span the social strata and are not confined to poor, emotionally needy women desperate for a mate. Instead they determined that women come from all social sectors. The newspaper offers the examples of Jimmy Boyle, a hard-core prison inmate who married a psychiatrist he met in prison. Carlos the Jackal became engaged to his lawyer the year before the article was written. The article went on to observe that most of the women who fall in love, and become engaged or married to prison inmates, meet their mates on anti-death-penalty campaign Internet sites.



Beverly, who has asked for anonymity for this article, said she had been part of a group that had fought against the death penalty in another state, following her divorce. She had become involved through a group of friends, and her advocacy work led her to meet Milt Russel, (not his real name) a convicted killer of three women, one of whom had been a long-time girlfriend. Beverly said she was captivated by Milt's letters, after she had initiated a correspondence through a penpal group. She liked his writing and said she was an amateur handwriting analyst who could tell he was an emotional person but someone with talent, creativity and passion. When she finally met him, through a visit, she said she was particularly impressed with his healthy, good looks, his musical abilities and his strong denial of killing anyone.



How does Beverly fare with friends when she tells them about her romancing a killer? Most of them would not understand, Beverly says. In fact, she is guarded about telling anyone, except a few “best” friends she says are in the prison reform movement themselves and therefore more understanding. Her children simply know she goes somewhere to visit a friend in jail, as they too are aware of her passion for the protest about capital punishment and prison reform. Still Beverly says she wishes she had met Milt in some other way and that she has to be some careful about who she tells about her romance with a man who is in prison.



Most of the women, the Guardian tells us, declare they would not have willingly chosen romance with a killer but that it just happened as a result of the pen pal experience. The man offers friendship, and that friendship then becomes something more. For Beverly her experience has been difficult at times, because she is unable to share the fine details of her romance with her friends; but she is adamant that this is “the real thing.”



A decade after Scott Peterson was convicted of killing his wife, Lacy, and his unborn child, Connor, he still receives pictures and letters from women, although these have diminished over the years. A reporter named Nancy Mullane interviewed Peterson recently as background for a book about women who are drawn to romancing killers. In an interview with Matt Lauer, Mullane said she had been visiting prisoners since 2007 to obtain information about their lives following a murder conviction and their tenure in prison.

Mullane learned that Peterson spends about five hours daily of his death row experience in a prisoner-friendly tier where he can go outside and exercise. A jury had convicted Peterson of killing his wife sometime between the night of December 23, 2002 and the following day. Peterson claimed he had gone fishing, however the jury, after reviewing the details presented at trial, found him guilty of killing his wife, Lacy, then pregnant with Connor, whose body was found separately during the search for both the mother and child. Because of the case notoriety, and the news stories about Peterson's female fan letters, much of what he does these days remains per prison officials “privileged information.”

One of the most famous serial killers, Ted Bundy, had his share of female fans, even when he was on death row.  Despite the violent nature of his crimes, women were said to be both afraid and yet charmed at the same time by Bundy.  One of them, Carol Boone, married Bundy and had a child by him after he had been accused of killing the two college women for which he was convicted and sent to death row.   He was said to have more female fans during his tenure on death row that at any other time in his life.



While journalists have covered stories about women who marry killers, for the most part it remains a puzzle to many about why women are attracted to men who murder, including those who are serial rapists as well. The New Statesman examined the visiting room on death row in one of Florida's prisons, finding women there visiting loved ones on death row. Some of these women met the men and married the men after the men were tried, convicted, sentenced and had spent time in prison.



One of these women cited by the New Statesman is Rosalie Bolin who married her husband Oscar in 1996, wearing a wedding dress while sitting in her apartment and offering vows over the telephone with a man on death row who had been convicted of raping and killing women. Rosalie, a crusader against the death penalty and mitigation specialist for those on death row, had met Oscar in the course of her advocacy missions. She became convinced he was innocent of the killings, although admits he had raped women, refusing to discuss it. Instead she focuses on what she claims are the signs of his innocence, such as the look in his eyes and his demeanor. She has convinced herself that her marriage, and advocacy of Oscar, were right and that she loves the man, whom she left her attorney husband to marry. The New Statesman points out that despite all the protestations of Rosalie about her relationship with Oscar, those same feelings are not shared by her children, who, during the interviews, spoke of the embarrassment their mother's situation has caused them.



Why do women fall in love with men in prison? References point to the fact that many of these women are white, professional and believe they have rescued someone whose difficult lives had led them to committing the most heinous crimes. In their efforts to protect and advocate, they confuse their emotions with love, protesting that like socialites whose husbands are often absent, they continue to maintain the bond because it is the right thing to do in those rescue efforts.



Women who love men who rape and kill can look just like any other woman, dress and speak well, and live in affluence or in poverty, according to a prison guard in Hawaii who years ago spoke about the many letters the Makiki rapist received in prison from women.   The Makiki rapist was convicted of raping and killing women in the central area of Oahu, not far from the University.   What these women share, is a driven desire to reform while advocating for justice, often not just dedicating their own lives to the cause but the lives of their loved ones, their children and families, as well.  They see themselves as humanitarians initially, using this as a foundation for their initial involvement.   While it confounds and confuses others, these women like Beverly are able to divorce themselves from the public revulsion that is directed towards those who rape and kill in exchange for their singular purpose, to make better those whose lives are so damaged they seem hopeless to everyone else.