How do you explain a gun death to a two-year-old boy who shot his mother?

Carol Forsloff--In a world where many people believe that guns don't kill people, people do, how can anyone explain death and this belief about guns to a two-year old boy who shot his mother with her concealed weapon?


Was it the availability of a gun that brought about what has been called "a tragic accident" or the child's foolish intention, thinking the gun a toy?

Veronica J. Rutledge was shot dead by a gun the tot had found in her purse while she shopped in the technology department of a Walmart store in Idaho.  News sources relate her friends consideration of her as a thoughtful and caring mother who was particularly careful about guarding her gun against accidents, to the extent she had received a special purse in which to carry her weapon.

Idaho is one of the states that allows concealed carry, which costs $20 to obtain.  It also offers reciprocity with other states. The state allows anyone, including a non-resident to obtain a permit to carry a gun.

Among the arguments in favor of concealed carry is this one by a gun owner proclaiming the virtues of having a gun: "Carry of any firearm or other weapon for defensive purposes is a solemn responsibility. Those of us that do (openly or concealed) are mortified by the idea, constantly promoted by the pacifists, that our behavior is more reckless because we are armed. In other words, because we carry a handgun we take more risks than we would if we were unarmed."

Those against the law, or the so-called pacifists, maintain it is easy to have an accident when one has a concealed weapon.  Those in favor of the law maintain that it is not true and that most gun owners are careful with their weapons.

All 50 states allow concealed carry of a gun.

Across the country, there have been numerous killings by people who have concealed weapons legally.  As one website cites these statistics:" Between May 2007 and Mar. 11, 2014, at least 14 law enforcement officers and 622 other people were killed nationally by private individuals legally allowed to carry concealed handguns."

At the end of 2014 the numbers have increased.  One of those numbers is Veronica J. Rutledge, armed for self defense, with child in tow.

How will a child understand and what words can explain why his mother carried a gun in her purse that could easily be found by a child?  And how might that impact his life and others in his family?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics children are twice as likely to die from a gun than cancer, five times more likely than heart disease or infections.  800 children died in what was called "accidental death" from the period 1999 to 2010.  USA Today in 2013 examined the problem in some detail, pointing out how children advocates warn of the risks in carrying a gun, the risks of accidental death.

With these facts, and the growing rate of handguns and concealed carry laws, how does one explain to children the importance of having a gun in a climate where deaths from guns virtually compare in number with deaths from automobile accidents?

Experts tell us it is difficult to tell a young child about death.  It becomes even more difficult when the child is responsible for it, or in this case perhaps the gun, depending on one's view of guns and responsibility.  This is what one of these experts tells us might be the way to work with the child in reference to death, however it happens:"Children process grief in bite-sized chunks, not all at once.  And many delay grieving until they feel it's safe to let these feelings out--a process that could take months or even years, particularly if they've lost a parent or sibling." 

Post-traumatic stress disorder can affect anyone, including a child.  1 in 3 people suffer from this disorder after experiencing serious trauma, especially involving violence.  40% of those individuals who are diagnosed with PTSD in adulthood suffered the sudden loss of someone close to them.

Three nieces accompanied Rutledge and her son shopping.  The nieces, reported as approximately 11 years of age, witnessed the shooting incident.  Experts remind us that witnessing violence can create serious trauma for children.

A lifetime of pain, sorrow and mental health problems can occur from an accidental gun death.  Who will explain that to a man who grows up with the knowledge he killed his mother, despite the fact he was a child when the incident occurred; and the death was not his fault?  It is one of those moral questions folks might ponder when they argue for their rights to carry a concealed weapon and their advocacy, and encouragement, for others to do the same.