The tough life of he political wife in standing by her man

by Carol Forsloff - Both Elizabeth Edwards and Tipper Gore have made recent headlines
because of separation and divorce from their husbands.  What eventually happens to wives of politicians who cheat, lie or are accused of doing bad things?





Whitney, Stand by Your Man, sdfd504, YouTube
Looking at this topic from a variety of angles, experts say the
pressures on wives can be particularly a problem.  The wives are thrust
into the spotlight for campaign purposes, but the rest of the time many
are in the background, the dutiful wives staying at home, in pictures
with the children, while the men are in the public.

There are exceptions, of course.  Some wives of powerful men become
powerful themselves in different ways.  Often by developing their own
personal powers women are able to withstand the pressure of politics.

Hillary Clinton is an example of this.  She stood by her man during his
tenure as President of the United States.  Bill Clinton is said to have a
particularly powerful personality, so much so that he dominates a
room.  There were worries that he would overshadow his wife during her
political campaign and that he would insert his views into her job as
Secretary of State.  But the marriage goes on despite the tests of
infidelity and political life for these two.

Elizabeth Taylor was married to a well-known Senator from Virginia, John Warner,  a
conservative Republican who was said to be different than her previous
husbands in many, many ways.  She had been married to powerful actors
and movie producers, so another powerful man might have been the
attraction.  But because she had a solid reputation as a powerful
actress, Taylor left the marriage and moved on.

Then there are those who are married to political figures and were
brought into the political arena publicly, after campaigns had died and
the limelight had faded.  That would be true of David Vitter's wife, the
wife who was led out on the stage to stand by her man who was accused
of consorting with call girls and madams in New Orleans and Washington.
She spoke not a word before cameras but stood quietly beside Vitter,
dressed in an animal-print dress, looking good, but with a tight-lipped,
somewhat sad expression nonetheless.

Those pressures are likely on Michelle Obama, who with the President of
the United States, Barack Obama,  has had to endure criticisms.  But she, like other
first ladies such as Eleanor Roosevelt, makes her
opinions known at times before the cameras and has projects of special
interest to maintain personal power as well.

It's a tough job, wives of politicians have said over the years. to be
married to a fellow in government work, with elections and other events
that thrust personal lives into the arena as well.

But it is a job that wives usually maintain until the time has passed
when they have to guard their feelings and can therefore express them
publicly.  Like Elizabeth Edwards and Tipper Gore, they can move out of
the reflected light of their husbands and make it on their own.

Still the public is left with the curiosity about what happens with the
marriages of other politicians and the impact on the wives when the
political career is over, the election lost, the lights turned off.

In the case of Elizabeth Edwards and Tipper Gore they simply left the
political limelight and are going on with their own identities as other
women do after divorce.

What will Vitter's wife do if he loses his Senate seat from Louisiana?
Will she choose the Hillary Clinton example and continue to stand by her
man or leave the stage like Elizabeth Edwards and Tipper Gore?

In 2007 CNN
reported Vitter's wife, Wendy, said to the media she had forgiven her
husband when she learned about the escort service several years ago.

"I made the decision to love him and to recommit to our marriage. To
forgive is not always the easy choice, but it was, and is, the right
choice for me," she said. "I am proud to be Wendy Vitter."

She also asked "as a mother" to the media to allow her family privacy.

"I would just ask you very respectfully to let us continue our summer, and our lives, as we had planned," she said.

Elizabeth Edwards wrote a tell-all book following her separation from John Edwards, and he had lost the election.


Senator David Vitter of Louisiana was found consorting with call girls
and prositutes in 2007.  His wife, Wendy Vitter, hasn't been seen much
in her husband's campaign for the Senate this year; and if Vitter loses
his Senate seat, will his wife write a bestseller too?