Samantha Torrence - If you are an exhausted housewife and mother as I am, then you know who “That Mom” is at the local playground. She has a kid or more, seems to have energy and actually plays with her children. You on the other hand just brought the kids to the playground to get them out of your hair for a while. You want to read a book or just zone out, and if you are with your friends you might want to catch up on how everyone is while you kids are left to their own devices to entertain themselves. You probably have a few extra pounds around the middle that just won’t go away no matter how hard you try, but “That Mom” who must have all the answers seems to be physically fit or well on her way. You look at that woman and you envy her, you might even hate her, and you also think that she thinks she is better than you.I was “That Mom” the other day.
I came to the playground on a sunny day to enjoy the fresh air, and hopefully to wear my little darlings out enough that they would have a good night’s sleep. I have no idea what got into me, it could have been that I lost a few extra pounds and could breathe easier; it could have been the sunshine that gave me a bit of energy; and it probably had something to do with breathing air that wasn’t so rife with pollution. I looked at the playground and decided I was going to play with my kids and get some exercise. That decision led to me being on the other side of those exhausted stares of despair from four other mothers. I knew those stares because I had made them many times. Those stares that said, “Great now my kid is going to want me to get up and play, and I am tired. You probably think you are so much better than me.”
Well ladies I do not. I am your sister in exhaustion who simply is turning her life around after 10 years of constant pregnancy and recuperation. I am not losing weight because I am trying, I am losing weight because I am visiting my husband who is a geo-bachelor in the Army and sexercise is amazing. I had energy because the sun was out and it counteracted my Seasonal Affective Disorder which is common in northern states. I played because I was tapping into my inner child and wanted to spend time with the kids.
I absolutely do not fault anyone for wanting their little darlings to just leave them the hell alone for an hour and go play! I don’t blame you for getting frustrated that your kids now might expect you to get up and play just because another parent is. My philosophy is this: I played alone as a kid or on the playground without the constant hen pecking of my mother and so can my kids. So can yours for that matter. I understand that society is pressuring you to have a kid and chain attached to your ankle at all times. I understand that sometimes the perfect mother is the mother who is exhausted and just wants an hour to reflect while her kids learn social rules, independence, social skills, and creativity on the playground. Whoever you are, this expectation that you have to be in your children’s business at all times is unrealistic. The playground isn’t just for kids; it is for parents who might need a break.
Do not let “That Mom” make you feel bad. If she is judgmental then so be it. Let her exhaust herself while she is trying to make up for whatever failings she thinks you have. Or if she is not judgmental then let her entertain your kids while you take your well-deserved break.
If you have a tale to tell, or want a little advice from a mother of 4 very rambunctious children contact me by visiting my author’s page.
