Sunday, June 30, 2013

Social dance vs social media: How change in interaction impacts emotional relationships

Social dancing Social dancing[/caption]

Carol Forsloff---For most of the folks over 50+ social dance was the way one met that significant other, providing choice options for dating or a permanent relationship, including marriage.  But in today's media-saturated world, the meet-up pattern is the single groups online, social media sites and the occasional coffee shop chats.  How does this change in interaction impact emotional relationships?

Every grade school in the 40's and 50's, outside of those with a more conservative bent or religious schools, taught young children the art of interaction through social dance.  These were not encouraged as a way to promote romantic coupling but a part of helping youth interact in a positive way with one another, enjoying music, physical movement in a different way than sports, and conversation.  Even during those moments where girls danced with girls because of boys' shyness or because they were those too tall, not as pretty or shy themselves, individuals learned how to measure feelings and relate to one another through touch.

Touch is one of the ways that best strengthens and connects people emotionally, scientists remind us.  A baby without being touched and held can suffer emotionally in such a way that physical and mental development can be negatively impacted.  Touch has been found important at every time in life, including advanced age, where it has been learned that elderly who experience close social interactions are better through those trying times of growing old.

Social media promotes conversation, interaction, discovery of new relationships, group consensus and information that can overcome cultural barriers.  So it has tremendous value, social scientists say, in democratizing and establishing a world view for many people.  But those same scientists warn that too much can also negate emotional and social development, in the same way that lack of touch can hurt how someone develops and grows throughout life.

Some dance forms remove some of those elements of touch, but there is also that mirroring behavior, that element of observation and feeling where one observes another in close proximity.  That promotes feelings of pleasure and emotional attachment.  So that rock and roll music of the 1950's that ushered in the more physically distant dance forms still maintained some element of physical interaction that helped invigorate folks and establish personal communication and connections.  Experts remind us that dance itself, even when it is a solitary activity, has a positive impact on our self concept and our joy.

Experts say to dance, to move together, to be together in a social and close interpersonal way is a good thing for everyone, including those with disabilities.  It helps promote social and personal wellness.  So while we learn about each other, and grow together across the Internet, that local dance group might also be a way to improve one's feeling of being part of something special.  The problem is that social dance is dying in many parts of the United States.  Those who understand its value, however, could bring back a true, and more permanent, renaissance of reason so we can dance together and get that feel-good emotion once again.