Attorney offers tips on dividing the assets during divorce

[caption id="attachment_11048" align="alignnone" width="560"] Bank assets[/caption]

Gordon Matilla-----Divorce is difficult, and one of the problems associated with breaking up a marriage has to do with who gets what and when.  An attorney has offered some guidelines in a discourse on how to make some difficult decisions during the run-up to divorce.

Understanding what marital property includes

In today's modern world, marital property involves more than just physical property. According to Forbes, marital property can consist of:
-Professional licenses.
-Stocks and bonds.
-Investments.
-Bank accounts - even those listed under a single spouse's name.
-Life insurance.
-Debts.

Spouses should especially pay attention to any 401K's or retirement plans that the other spouse has. Often, spouses think that they have no legal claim on such items but this is not the case.

Equitable distribution in divorce

When a divorce takes place, it is not only the end of a once romantic relationship, but also of the financial stability that a couple has created together. Even if one spouse stayed home to take care of the household and children, that spouse is considered to have contributed to the career success of the other. These contributions are just as important as the money and valuable assets purchased by the other spouse and are taken into account when it comes to the asset division.

The purpose of equitable distribution is to ensure that each spouse receives what is fair. This division process can result in one spouse receiving more or less than half of all marital property, depending on what the judge feels is best.

Things to consider and keep in mind

It is important for spouses to make sure that they have a full comprehension of what marital property exists. This requires having a separate team of professionals who can look over all of the financial matters and determine each asset's true value. These professionals can also assist the spouse in making sure that retirement plans are correctly transferred so that he or she is not hit with an unexpected tax bill.

Most folks know a house and cash are assets, but there are other items that fall under assets that are legally recognized in the division of ownership between the parties to a divorce.In today's modern world, marital property involves more than just physical property. Marital property can consists of:
-Professional licenses.
-Stocks and bonds.
-Investments.
-Bank accounts - even those listed under a single spouse's name.
-Life insurance.
-Debts.

Furthermore divorce settlements often entail spelling out how transferring property will be made and beneficiary status when children are involved.

In a divorce one or the other or both spouses may try to hide assets to prevent the other spouse from knowing about them or to prevent their being taken in a divorce proceeding.

All of these issues should be considered, as they can complicate matters for individuals seeking a divorce.  Often a martial counselor can prepare people in advance for the emotional issues that can develop.  And as one attorney points out, who has offered the information here,hiring a lawyer is usually done because of the legal issues involved.

And despite the concerns about divorce, it turns out that the rate of divorce is actually going down over the past several years, that some experts tell us has to do with the fact people are marrying later.  They are also more sophisticated about setting up agreements before marriage, although when it does come to divorce new assets may have been accumulated that can be part of new negotiations.  So it's important to sort these things out with those who can help, like a marital counselor to handle the feelings that can occur and an attorney to advise on legal matters.

Social dance vs social media: How change in interaction impacts emotional relationships

Social dancing[/caption]

Carol Forsloff---For most of the folks over 50+ social dance was the way one met that significant other, providing choice options for dating or a permanent relationship, including marriage.  But in today's media-saturated world, the meet-up pattern is the single groups online, social media sites and the occasional coffee shop chats.  How does this change in interaction impact emotional relationships?

Every grade school in the 40's and 50's, outside of those with a more conservative bent or religious schools, taught young children the art of interaction through social dance.  These were not encouraged as a way to promote romantic coupling but a part of helping youth interact in a positive way with one another, enjoying music, physical movement in a different way than sports, and conversation.  Even during those moments where girls danced with girls because of boys' shyness or because they were those too tall, not as pretty or shy themselves, individuals learned how to measure feelings and relate to one another through touch.

Touch is one of the ways that best strengthens and connects people emotionally, scientists remind us.  A baby without being touched and held can suffer emotionally in such a way that physical and mental development can be negatively impacted.  Touch has been found important at every time in life, including advanced age, where it has been learned that elderly who experience close social interactions are better through those trying times of growing old.

Social media promotes conversation, interaction, discovery of new relationships, group consensus and information that can overcome cultural barriers.  So it has tremendous value, social scientists say, in democratizing and establishing a world view for many people.  But those same scientists warn that too much can also negate emotional and social development, in the same way that lack of touch can hurt how someone develops and grows throughout life.

Some dance forms remove some of those elements of touch, but there is also that mirroring behavior, that element of observation and feeling where one observes another in close proximity.  That promotes feelings of pleasure and emotional attachment.  So that rock and roll music of the 1950's that ushered in the more physically distant dance forms still maintained some element of physical interaction that helped invigorate folks and establish personal communication and connections.  Experts remind us that dance itself, even when it is a solitary activity, has a positive impact on our self concept and our joy.

Experts say to dance, to move together, to be together in a social and close interpersonal way is a good thing for everyone, including those with disabilities.  It helps promote social and personal wellness.  So while we learn about each other, and grow together across the Internet, that local dance group might also be a way to improve one's feeling of being part of something special.  The problem is that social dance is dying in many parts of the United States.  Those who understand its value, however, could bring back a true, and more permanent, renaissance of reason so we can dance together and get that feel-good emotion once again.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder: The benefits of a trial separation

Sandy Wallace — Sometimes the best step for saving your marriage is to have a trial separation so that you and your spouse can have the space you need to resolve the factors that are causing tension in your marriage. A trial separation is not a divorce. In fact trial separations are a tool that couples use to avoid divorce. When things are stressful at home you may not be able to get the clarity you need regarding what needs to happen to move forward. Here are some common questions about trial separations and a discussion of some of the main benefits for this course of action.

How does it work?

Trial separations are most often arranged in conjunction with working with a marriage counselor. These are for couples who want to work through their concerns. If either spouse wants a divorce, a trial separation is not recommended by most marriage counselors. Your counselor will advise as to the length and boundaries of the separation. This could be something like a six month break with no contact other than counseling sessions or dates as advised by your counselor. You will also have to work out the financial side of how the bills will be taken care of and how time with the kids will be managed.

Will a Trial Separation Save My Marriage?

Every marriage is different, but the goal of a separation is to save one in trouble. Although the thought of making such a drastic change to your daily life can be overwhelming, remember that you have a long-term goal to achieve. Here are some benefits of a trial separation:

Reduces Stress—Your house should be your safe haven and comfort zone. When you and your spouse are living together in a tense environment, your comfort zone instead becomes a place of stress and unhappiness. During your separation you can have a break from the tension in your marriage.

Gives You “Me” Time—Spend your time apart to explore the hobbies you have not made enough time for or find new hobbies and interests.

Reminds You of Your Independence—Sometimes in marriage you come to a place of co-dependency. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it can become one when you forget that you can, and sometimes should, do things independently.

Reduces Fighting—If you have children in the home, it may be difficult for them to comprehend that you are taking a trial separation. However, if the tension in your marriage has created fighting that your kids are witness to then a separation will give your kids a much needed break from the fighting, too. Talk with your marriage counselor about the best ways to explain your separation to your children.

Gives You Time to Reflect—This could be a reflection of so many different areas of your life. You will have time to reflect on what it is you enjoy most about your partner, instead of focusing on the recent tension. With some time and space away from one another, you will also have the opportunity to look at your marriage from a different perspective, and you may be able to see more areas that you can adjust to work toward the common goal of saving your marriage.

If you and your spouse decide that a trial separation is the best way for you to reconnect with one another, look at it as an opportunity to grow. Absence truly can make the heart grow fonder, especially if you get to a place where you are taking each other for granted. A trial separation can help you get back to your common goal of creating a healthy home and a happy marriage.



About the Author

This article was contributed by Sandy Wallace, an aspiring lawyer who loves to share his far-reaching knowledge of law with anyone who will listen.