Relationships aid mental health more than achievements

A healthy relationship

 Carol Forsloff - Our relationship with people is more likely to produce our best and worst
experiences in life not our individual accomplishments research has told us.  Relationships over our lifetime are considered especially important throughout our lives and significantly more in old age.

The need for social connection ranks high on how we feel in life, countering previous research.  This is research,with the findings entitled in "What Makes Us Feel the Best Also Makes Us Feel the Worst: The Emotional Impact of independent and
Interdependent Experiences."

The positive reinforcement from people can produce more than what we achieve independently is a strong finding for this research.  Conversely, if we have bad experiences these can reduce our good feelings about ourselves and what we do. "Most of us spend much of our time and effort focused on individual achievements such as work, hobbies and schooling, co-author Shira Gabriel, PhD, associate professor of psychology at UB, said at the time the research was completed a few years ago.

"However this research suggests that the events that end up being most important
in our lives, the events that bring us the most happiness and also carry the potential for the most pain, are social events -- moments of connecting to others and feeling their connections to us."

And what are those particularly important social events we remember that help us feel good about ourselves?

Family is first, as it is in childhood.  Those with poor, unhappy childhoods find themselves lagging behind others early on.  However, some of this loss is regained by friendships who are of particular sustenance in adulthood.

In aging, it has been found that seniors maintain health better if they are surrounded by friends.  Social activities are very important in overall physical and emotional well being.

Most people won't ask a 70-year-old what occupation he or she had before retirement.  They will, however, inquire about interests.  That's likely because, "Tennis, anyone?" is likely to get a group response and activity, both of which merit praise to old and young alike.