What do you love most, your religion, race, country, profession or kind?

Mohandas K. Gandhi

"I am an American first, " Marty boldly stated, as he asserted his position in response to political issues around the world.  "I make my own decisions and believe that my country is the best in the world, so what other people think doesn't matter much to me."  Many people identify themselves first by where they live, but what are the other factors Americans use to view themselves and others or use as a measure for love and respect?

Marty is a Midwest fellow who knows how to maintain an argument by simply reminding people that he comes from a country identified by its leadership.  An American flag at his doorway proudly shows people where he stands politically. And in the tech corridor of Portland, where religion is said not to predominate, Marty remains an individual who is adamant about immigration and America's involvement in foreign wars.

"I believe if we stuck to ourselves and didn't get so involved with other people in different parts of the world we would be a whole lot better off.  When I vote, I want to make sure that the person I vote for stands up for this country first.  And this is what I say to people who don't see themselves as patriotic Americans and put our nation at the top;l I say love it or leave it.  And I'm a Catholic, but the Church doesn't tell me what to do.  I vote in the interests of being an American, and I love this country first."

Like Ron Edmundson, whose blog is dominated by topics related to America being first at almost everything and church as a dominant force in life, Marty sees himself as a patriot.  And so does Edmundson, for whom church is also important but loving America too as he explains:  "We love our country.  Period."

Americans of Spanish origin are often referred to as Hispanics or Latinos.  But how do they view themselves?  According to research by the Pew Forum, most of them self-identify by their country of origin.  This means they refer to themselves as Cuban, Mexican, Peruvian, etc.  Only 21% use the term American in how they label themselves.

CNN recently reported that most Americans maintain religion's influence is waning, so they want to see more religion in politics.  Many say they will vote for candidates in November's election based upon their religious views.  For them faith comes first.

For other people, what they do, the work they perform, is favored over many other factors in life.  Forbes investigated why people love what they do and found a number of areas that make work satisfying and sometimes predominant in life. Often people who are successful at what they do, and love it, are said to live in the Now.  They worry about what is happening around them as opposed to fanciful concerns about the negative what'ifs.

While people identify themselves, or favor most, what they do for a living, the country where they live, or their particular ethnic group, still others see themselves as reaching out beyond the limited borders of these factors to the greater good they see as coming from a world of options.  Gandhi viewed himself as not being limited by his ethnicity, although his devotion to India was clearly demonstrated by his life and actions.  Gandhi saw the struggles or the people of India as not unlike the struggles of others in the world and underlined peace as the overriding value of people everywhere.  In other words, his love for others crossed the borders of religion, ethnicity and profession, as he maintained his affection for people of the entire world.  To that extent, his views are similar to those of Buddha who said this: " To him in whom love dwells, the whole world is but one family"or Baha'u'llah, the founder of the Baha'i Faith, who saw all humanity as the leaves and branches of a single tree of humanity and said,  "Glory not in love for your country, but in love for all mankind."

How we decide what is paramount in our lives differs from one person to another, however in many cases there are overlaps as well.  Most people will underline a balance of affection for what they do and where they live, or their faith and their ethnicity, but how those decisions are made are deeply personal and make a difference in how relationships are made and whether one strives for a peaceful accord or a debate in deciding who and what is best.

Senior disadvantage can occur with reverse mortgages

Single elders sometimes opt for reverse mortgages

Whether it's Robert Wagner or another aging movie star, the message is the same: a reverse mortgage benefits seniors and offers the aging population a special advantage.  It is said to have been a gift from Ronald Reagan to help seniors stay in their homes, but the effect is to have created problems for many older citizens.

The reverse mortgage advertisements maintain that seniors can continue to stay in their home and receive a loan on the equity they don't have to pay back.  The problem is that the do have to pay it back, in ways and at times that can seriously hurt the unsuspecting senior.  Many of these people are seeking less to enjoy their retirement, which is the message given by the television spokespersons, than to have enough money to live on in those advancing years, when costs are higher because of medical needs.  And it is at that time that the reverse mortgage ends up being a disadvantage that comes at a time when seniors can least afford to lose anything.

Mildred is in her early 70's, sharing her residence with an adult son and his girlfriend.  She has a line of credit in the form of an ongoing loan against her property.  Her income had been so meager there were few options other than to see a reverse mortgage.  Like many seniors she was faced with financial emergency, unable to work because of physical ailments and without the income to sustain her.  While she continues to live in her home, the disadvantages of the loan might not be apparent now but could end up being a problem for her as she grows older and needs assisted living and both her and her son face a debt neither may not be able to repay.

In 2012 the New York Times examined the concept of reverse mortgages, pointing out these involve significant risk for older persons, a risk that can cost them their homes.   These loans are sold aggressively, using well-known movie stars that seniors would recognize from their youth.  The charm of the spokespersons coupled with the message that the money comes as a virtual benefit to seniors has brought a wave of response from unsuspecting elders who are seeking simply to stay in their homes, even as the cost of maintaining those homes while facing physical vulnerabilities that come with aging becomes more and more difficult.

Many of the big lenders have dropped out of the reverse mortgage business, leaving the door open to predatory lenders who look for the vulnerable senior as an easy target for seductive advertising claims.  While the business of loaning money under the reverse mortgage is legal, and protected by laws designed to offer seniors some protection, some of the wrong people have entered the reverse mortgage business in ways that can harm older folk.  Many of these lenders say the senior will never lose their home, a deceptive sales pitch since there are conditions when the loan is made. These lenders persuade the older spouse in a marriage to be the sole borrower, so the other spouse is not on the deed.  Then when the older person dies, the loan becomes due.  Brokers are sometimes given incentives to promote lump-sum loans as opposed to a line of credit, so the fixed rate and interest charges can over time become a debt load that often comes at a stage in life when the senior has less money to pay the loan, especially since the owner is required to pay taxes, insurances and other fees to keep the home.

Forbes has examined the problem of reverse mortgages and offered some of what they call "the hidden truths" about them.  For example, the notion that a person cannot lose their home is untrue.  When an elder has to move into an assisted living situation, the loan becomes due.  That puts the senior at a particular disadvantage, since the costs of care are higher when an individual can no longer live independently.   Anyone else living in the home is forced to move.  Furthermore, the family members are left to pay off the loan when the elder dies if they want to keep the home.  If taxes and home insurance premiums aren't paid, the resident can lose the home as well.

What's the answer to the problems caused by reverse mortgages.  Forbes explains that this type of mortgage should be taken only as a last resort.  Many seniors become desperate and look for the reverse mortgage to help pay for their last days, but the cost of assisted living and 24/7 care can exhaust the loan amount, forcing the senior into poverty at a difficult time.

CNN Money points out that new rules have made reverse mortgages safer but that there are still problems with them.  The new rules discourage seniors from taking a lump sum payment.   Still the loans are actually expensive as the fees and costs for a $200,000 loan can be as much as $15,000.  In addition the lenders also charge a monthly service fee and interest of about 5%, so the lump sum mortgage balance of $100,000 CNN offers as an example can double the debt in 11 years.

Often the senior takes a reverse mortgage thinking it is the best way to get ready cash to live out those senior years in comfort.  The problem is the expense of the loan and the conditions make it not a good option for everyone.  Experts say a senior should consult an attorney or accountant before signing up for a reverse mortgage, as the cost of the professional services in advance might end up saving a senior's home and future.  In other words, if something looks too good and is sold as having no strings attached, the final advice is to look for other options or another, more reliable lender who will disclose the problems as well as the benefits along the way.