Virginia Woolf - renowned author with severe depression[/caption]Carol Forsloff---Ever wonder why that friend or colleague seems to be critical of everything and everyone? The negativity can be irritating, but it can also be symptomatic of a serious problem, depression, which experts remind us can be reflected as anger while it hides deep sadness and feelings of inadequacy instead.
The toxicity of sarcasm and negative remarks from someone that are constant and appear to be directed toward personalities, events and ideas in a scattered yet constant way can make us feel uncomfortable. The individual with depression, however, has more troublesome than just uncomfortable feelings, because the pain from within is being expressed as a way of gaining relief from that sadness that can cripple creativity and cause relationships to disintegrate. It is, however, an illness, one that is considered the most prevalent of the mental health problems in the modern world. The Centers for Disease Control estimates one in ten individuals suffers from depression.
The anger can be expressed in arguments, in passive conversations, in simple, social situations meant to be lighthearted and happy. Instead those occasions can sometimes dissolve into bitter times when the depression spills over into rage. Researchers found one of the underlying features of depression is conflict over the expression of anger.
It's difficult to relate to those who suffer from this common mental disorder, as what seems to be vacillation between anger and withdrawal offers inexact social cues to others in the environment, so that it is difficult to know what to say or do when trying to relate to a depressed individual. But there are characteristics that help us to identify when one of our family members, friends or colleagues suffers from this mental disorder so that we can understand, support and encourage instead of responding in anger or withdrawal ourselves.
Experts give us some of the warning signs of depression as fatigue or a sense of hopelessness, persistent or frequent crying episodes, anger outbursts over what would ordinarily be considered minor events, loss of interest in normal activities including those that once brought pleasure, difficulty concentrating or remembering, having sleep disruptions or problems sleeping, poor appetite or overeating, aches and pains unexplained by a physical condition, and in particularly serious situations having thoughts of suicide.
Some of these warning signs may not be apparent to the passive observer, however those who interact with an individual who is depressed on a regular basis will begin to see some of them. It becomes a time for understanding; and if the relationship is close and one of trust, time to step forward and offer the wise advice of seeking help.
That help can come in many forms. It begins with understanding and patience, for those with depression have problems with boundaries, as is the case with many people who suffer from some form of mental illness. Guidance to professional counseling intervention is also important, along with being that good friend who listens well and kindly. Professionals who offer treatment will use a series of modalities for intervention once a diagnosis is made, including medications, various types of therapies and other techniques to facilitate insight and resolution. For those who suffer major depression, the therapy and medications may require years of support.
The good news about depression is that it is a treatable disorder and one that can be helped so that a person can lead a normal life and resume the enjoyment of hobbies, friendships, work and relationships he or she might not otherwise enjoy.
The next time someone fires off that angry note, accusation, or rude remark it's important to know the individual may suffer from depression. It is not always the case, of course, but it aids our understanding when the behavior becomes habitual and allows us to back down from conflicts that can overwhelm both the suffering, depressed individuals and those of us who live and work with them.
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Carol Forsloff is experienced and educated in both journalism and mental health and rehabilitation counseling, with a professional background of work with people who have been diagnosed with depression.
