Carol Forsloff - The mother who plays favorites may set up problems for her children later on, according to new research, that mental health can be impacted as late as middle age.
Those children who sense they are the black sheep or not the mother's chosen child can likely show depressive signs when they become middle-aged adults a new research study by Cornell University gerontologist Karl Pillemer.
The research done at Cornell University utilized a survey of 275 Boston-area families, co-directed by Purdue University sociologist Jill Suitor. It is considered the first to show that such harmful effects of how children are treated may persist long into adulthood. Previous research has shown that playing favorites negatively affects mental health and often triggers behavioral problems in children, teens and young adults.
“Perceived favoritism from one’s mother still matters to a child’s psychological well-being, even if they have been living for years outside the parental home and have started families of their own,” says Pillemer, a professor in the Department of Human Development and associate dean in Cornell’s College of Human Ecology. “It doesn’t matter whether you are the chosen child or not, the perception of unequal treatment has damaging effects for all siblings.”
The study controlled for family size, race and other factors and involved interviews with mothers in their 60s and 70s with at least two living children. 671 offspring of these women were also interviewed.
The findings could lead to new therapies for practitioners who work with later-life families, Pillemer says.
“We have a powerful norm in our society that parents should treat kids equally, so favoritism can be something of a taboo topic,” he says. “If counselors can help older parents and adult children bring some of these issues into the open, it may help prevent family conflict from arising.”
Those children who sense they are the black sheep or not the mother's chosen child can likely show depressive signs when they become middle-aged adults a new research study by Cornell University gerontologist Karl Pillemer.
The research done at Cornell University utilized a survey of 275 Boston-area families, co-directed by Purdue University sociologist Jill Suitor. It is considered the first to show that such harmful effects of how children are treated may persist long into adulthood. Previous research has shown that playing favorites negatively affects mental health and often triggers behavioral problems in children, teens and young adults.
“Perceived favoritism from one’s mother still matters to a child’s psychological well-being, even if they have been living for years outside the parental home and have started families of their own,” says Pillemer, a professor in the Department of Human Development and associate dean in Cornell’s College of Human Ecology. “It doesn’t matter whether you are the chosen child or not, the perception of unequal treatment has damaging effects for all siblings.”
The study controlled for family size, race and other factors and involved interviews with mothers in their 60s and 70s with at least two living children. 671 offspring of these women were also interviewed.
The findings could lead to new therapies for practitioners who work with later-life families, Pillemer says.
“We have a powerful norm in our society that parents should treat kids equally, so favoritism can be something of a taboo topic,” he says. “If counselors can help older parents and adult children bring some of these issues into the open, it may help prevent family conflict from arising.”
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