Pain of childbirth and its need to be expressed is culturally defined

Doctor helping woman give birth depicted in Peruvian art

Carol Forsloff -  "It was the worst day of my life," some women report about their childbirth experience, feelings that have been taboo in many cultures for women to express.  It is one of those things many women don't express, for fear of rejection or other women's lack of support.

While childbirth pain is part of the childbirth process, many women believe that talking about it makes them appear to be cowards as opposed to needing an opportunity to express feelings.

And even while women need to express those feelings, they find other women protesting their experience was just fine and they just can't understand how some women wail about it.

Some of that lack of listening, and lack of empathy, also comes with hospital personnel, most especially female nurses and caregivers, who may often give the same response as friends and relatives.  That response, "You'll get over it.  I didn't have trouble myself, so just don't think about it.  It probably wasn't that bad," which is often typical of how other women relate their experiences, often in a smug way that makes them feel superior in that they were able to tolerate the pain without complaint.

While that style of interaction is often used with those who suffer pain in general, the kind of pain that occurs in childbirth is seldom discussed, or not enough, in the media, in print, or in discussions either.

A survey from the Birth Trauma Association done several years ago reveals that almost 70 per cent of women do not get the birth experience they want.

It's supposed to be the happiest day of a new mother's - and father's life. But the survey of more than 600 women from the Birth Trauma Association revealed that for many new parents, it's the worst.

Despite government policy to promote choice in Great Britain, 69.3 per cent of respondents said they did not get the birth they wanted.

One-third said they were not treated with dignity and respect, and were not given proper information and/or explanations during their labor.

Many cited 'loss of control' and 'lack of communication' as key factors in how they felt about their births afterwards. Some respondents said they felt 'bullied' or 'harrassed' by overstretched staff. Many felt ignored on the post-natal ward and said attempts to get an explanation for what went wrong were dismissed.

All these factors are known to contribute towards both post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following birth and post-natal depression (PND). It is estimated that, in the UK alone, 10,000 women develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). As many as 200,000 more women may
feel traumatized by childbirth and develop some of the symptoms of PTSD.

Comments from survey respondents included:

"My daughter's birth and subsequent days were some of the worst of my life and I still have nightmares about them. I had a complete loss of control and no one ever really communicated what was going on or why at any point."

"The worst day of my life, was over three years ago, still have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), not taken seriously by GP, tried to complain to hospital, no explanation given. I still think about it
every day. It has ruined my life, I feel it will be the end of me."

"Having my daughter was the most traumatic experience of my life -because the decision to deliver my baby was made so suddenly, there was no time to fully comprehend the information that was being given to me at the time."

Maureen Treadwell, co-founder of the Birth Trauma Association,said at the time of the survey, "It is a tragedy that so many women are left traumatized by their experience of childbirth. Poor maternity care impacts on women, children and their families and has huge social and ultimately financial costs. The same issues arise again and again – we know the problems,

Beyond the global scope of childbirth pain and its problems are the cultural aspects.  Culture often defines how women cope with and express pain.  While all societies recognize there is pain in childbirth, how that pain is expressed is determined by culture.

Yet even as it is a painful experience that needs expression, most people would agree with this summation:  "Birth is characterized by pain but also by the most positive of life events—[creating] a new life" (Niven & Gijsbers, 1996, p. 131).