Experts give advice on protection against rape

Alcohol often goes together with sexual assault

Carol Forsloff - Rape is a serious crime, but many women are raped by men they know.  In a world of complex situations, what are the things women need to know to protect themselves and what should men know too?

Lawrence Taylor, the former New York Giants linebacker in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, was arrested and charged with rape in May 2010.  Authorities accused Taylor of paying $300 for sex with a 16-year-old runaway from New York City.  In this case the accusation is having sex with a minor, but that too figures in what  both men and women need to know.

Various rape charges have been filed with reference to rape of girls on college campuses, including some where the charges have not been validated.  Nevertheless, colleges and universities are now undergoing solid education programs, and developing serious guidelines, to combat the incidents of rape.

At the same time, parents are being asked to prepare their sons and daughters for problems on campuses, including partying and drinking too much, as well as sexual assault.

Mental health counselors say mothers need to advise their sons that having sex with an under-age girl is statutory rape and a crime.  Young women need to know that having consensual sex under age can get a guy in trouble.  And men need to make sure their dalliances are with women considered adult enough to give consent, which in this case is not a 16-year-old.  Men may not know, but identification is helpful and not always asked in the heat of passion.

Counselors and police also say women should know what to do in the event of an attack or to prevent one. But little is written in newspapers or on the Internet to give women guidance. Most women, one author says , live warily, recognizing the problem of violence against them that is possible everywhere these days. Leslie Silko refers to that as living in the combat zone.

Silko compares women’s need to be wary as similar to men that have returned from combat or who are in combat zones. They learn to be careful, knowing the dangers that surround them. This is the same with women who have to go to stores in the evening, sometimes live at home alone, or drive to unfamiliar places. Silko writes:

“Women out alone at night who are assaulted by strangers are put on trial by public opinion: Any woman out alone after dark is asking for trouble. Presently, for millions of women of all socioeconomic backgrounds, sundown is lockdown. We are prisoners of violent strangers.”

Silko also points out that even daylight isn’t safe and relates several incidences of men forcing women to have sex in alleys and dark corners, accosting them sometimes in broad daylight. She recommends women carry guns for that reason.

An email that has made the rounds to some women tells specifically what women should do. It has actually been going around the Internet for some time, actually for years, and is called “Through a Rapist’s Eyes.” It’s always good to check the veracity of any message received over the Internet, so I did. Turns out the author claimed falsely that the information obtained came as a result of an interview with a group of rapists, although much of the information is useful. Some specifics regarding what to do in the event of an attack are found here at an official London metropolitan police department.

Bottom line per police:  Women need to know what to do to protect themselves, and men need to know rape is a serious crime, even in situations where the sex is consensual .