Wednesday, January 28, 2015

One night stands: Where do they stand in the ethics, freedom debate?

Joan Baez who captured in song her one-night stand
Carol Forsloff - With the 70's came a wave of independence for many women, after civil rights and the sexual revolution, and with it came the one night stand.  How has that changed since STDs and AIDS?

It was, in the late 60's through the 1970's thought a craze that would pass, an experiment, romanticized like Joan Baez  "Love Song to a Stranger, " a song about her own experience.

It turns out rather than vanishing, one night stands have become part of the culture, so much so that there are YouTube videos devoted to the subject and magazine articles as well. These give advice on the how-to's and what-fors, and there are even organizations that cater to the business of one-night stands.

AskMen.com came up with some sizzling advice for these frisky capers, making sure men know the difference between one-night stands and permanent engagements.  The beauty of the former is the ability to escape entanglements and just buzz along afterward with each party having no obligation to the other.

This article directed to the guys advises the fellow to go to her place, not his; so he is in control of the getaway, and there are no lingering issues in getting the gal to move along. Furthermore, there are those reminders (likely addressing those STDs for sure), of having protective gear as well.

Now that's the culture of sex these days in the back rooms of America and everywhere it seems.  But there are counters to this culture that say whoa there, not so fast. Experts tell us it's very important to remember that in a casual relationship it's very difficult to determine who has a sexually transmitted disease and what other issues might be involved.  There are also other risks, of a stranger turning violent, and of other potential dangers as well.  But Ask.com gives instructions on the practice of safe sex from all different angles.  Their advice?

They don't recommend it, but underline if practiced it ought to be safe. The practice of one night stands has created disharmony for such online dating sites as eHarmony.  The site at one time wrote an article on navigating the one-night stand, and after a minor uproar, wrote a retraction.  In fact the founder is said to have espoused relationships that wait for sex until a serious arrangement is made and permanent.

And the sexual freedom has become so absolute that there adult dating sites that underline people meeting for sexual frolic more than the idea of romance itself, marriage or any permanent relationship.

The ethical and healthy ideas about casual sex, and the problems it incurs related to mental and physical health added to the Evangelical push to put women's rights united with morality as well, one might think one night stands might be a thing of the past.  It appears, however, they are here to stay, surely among the youth and the rank-and-file of today's singles.

Still while one-night stands remain part of the culture, with the impetus given by the sexual emancipation of women after the 60's, there are still groups that question the practice and whether it should be habit-forming.  It is the kind of personal freedom some might debate about, the ethnics of which for youth has simply to do with choice as opposed to morality.

The young does not ask if it is right, but do I have the freedom to do so if I wish, which is uniquely different than past generations where the freedom to do it was less an issue than whether or not it was right.

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