Depression and suicide seen as consequence of cyber bullying

Cyber bullying has serious consequences

The adult or child feels numb, finds it hard to get out of bed, cries frequently and avoids social interaction, all of which experts tell us can be signs of depression and can result from cyber bullying. 

A recent report tells us that suicide among children is greater than any time before and that it may be a consequence of cyber bullying.

The Internet casts a wide net, allowing some of the strongest forms of multiple attack on individuals, that in a barrage can cause considerable pain, scientists remind us. 

Often the bully suffers from depression, but the victim suffers more according to a new study. 

 The fact that the victims of cyber bullying as opposed to those who were both tormentor - victims, suffered more depression was an unexpected finding according to the study's lead researcher, Jing Wang, Ph.D.

Others in the medical field agree that the results showing depression to be especially critical for victims of cyber attacks, like Jorge Srabstein, M.D., who has no affiliation with the new study, say the research “really highlight the toxicity of cyber bullying.” He is medical director of the Clinic for Health Problems Related to Bullying at Children's National Medical Center. 

 Srabstein said, in addressing the wide net cast by cyber-bullying, “in the majority of victimization, there is a wider resonance of abuse, to all corners of the world.”

“Individuals can be more isolated when bullying occurs by cell phone or computer,”study co-author Ronald Iannotti, Ph. D.  said. “The mechanism for cyber bullying is ‘I’m making fun of you; I could have made a photo of you that’s not even true and it can go to Facebook.’ The audience can increase, causing particularly devastating consequences.

A 2005 Health Behavior Survey of  School-Aged Children showed abut 50% of all school-aged children had been involved in some type of bullying with boys and girls equally at risk.“The type of bullying we’re looking at peaks in middle school,” said study co-author Ronald Iannotti, Ph.D. 

 “We can’t be sure whether depressed kids have lower self-esteem and so are more easily bullied or the other way around,” Iannotti said.

More than eighty years ago  the nation was stunned at the case of Meghan Meier, an adolescent girl from Missouri, who committed suicide as a result of cyber-bullying involving adult tormentors pretending to be a boy who had first befriended then "dumped" her.  As a result the State of Missouri has added cyber bullying to its existing laws on anti-bullying. 

Experts say the key to ending the problem is education, but there are barriers in getting through to both young people as well as there parents because many kids won't speak up about their problem.  . “Unfortunately, it’s universally ingrained that reporting bullying is being a ‘snitch’ and trying to get someone in trouble,” Srabstein said. “Instead of punishing perpetrators, they should undergo counseling about the harm they have inflicted and understand that they must to stop the mistreatment.” 

“Kids may be reluctant to tell their parents in case they lose their computer or cell phone privileges,” Iannotti said. On the other side, he said, “parents should monitor children’s phones and computers,” which is another barrier in families.

Cyber bullying, however, is something that needs to be identified and stopped experts say as do young people who become depressed, withdrawn and particularly hurt from its effects..

A bully in the family can create lifetime of abuse

[caption id="attachment_14284" align="alignleft" width="300"] Bully[/caption]

Carol Forsloff - Bullying can occur anywhere, including schools, neighborhoods, businesses, agencies, and groups of various kinds.  But bullying can also occur in families, which can make the problem even more insidious and long-lasting.

Martha spent a lifetime as the butt of family jokes.  She was often the scapegoat of her father, who would use her as a point of ridicule or put-down at the family table, in front of siblings and her mother.  The family pattern of parental bullying became part of how Martha was treated throughout much of her life as the model set by the father was used to isolate, humiliate and control.    Her inability to fight back because of the entrenchment of the bully behavior over time weakened Martha in her attempt to ward off bullying behavior in other relationships.   Her vulnerability attracted bullying in other life relationships, from her husband, children and friends.

This family pattern is not unusual but difficult to manage over time because objections to the bullying, or defenses against it, can be met with denial or further aggression from family members and friends.  It can be complicated  by individual relationships within intimate groups who may ally themselves with the bully  in order to shield themselves from also being victimized.

Experts on bullying tell us that manipulation is a key element in the behavior of bullies within the family.  The bully manipulates through emotions,  setting members of the family against each other and impacting the perception of others, their beliefs and attitudes.  Those most vulnerable are often the victims of the manipulation, and these include those most needy emotionally or individuals with health problems or disabilities.  The elderly needy often have the greatest vulnerability to family bullies.

Bullying in the family can be physical, psychological, financial, sexual or verbal, according to those involved in seeking solutions to this type of behavior.   It can also be deliberate neglect.    Statistics reveal that with the growth of aging family elders has also been an elevation in abuse and neglect of seniors.

What should folks do to escape the abuse from bullies in the family?   Experts tell us that adults must recognize how their own behavior can fuel the bully activity, to speak up, and not to accept the notion they are at fault.   If someone is making others think less of themselves, it is that individual who has the problem.  In other words, one should not accept the notion they are just being too sensitive or not understanding, especially if the abuse is prolonged and hurtful.

Children learnbullying behaviors from others.  For that reason, experts tell us adults must be conscious of the examples they set for their children.   When family members degrade each other to maintain or increase family status, that type of behavior can hurt the more fragile in the family group and teach the child that behavior is an acceptable means to control.  The Marthas in our midst can be helped by recognizing that the core value of the family to love and protect is risked for everyone when bullying becomes a family pattern.