Is your former spouse brain-washing your children?

GHN News - Brain-washing children in parenting situations following divorce is now a
hot topic in the legal and mental health communities, but what are the
specifics of this and can it happen to you?

"Parental alienation" syndrome is the tag used for the syndrome which is

otherwise known as "hostile aggressive parenting."  In short it means
turning the child against a parent in a purposeful and directed way in
order to create permanent alienation.

We often see celebrities playing out the drama of child custody in the courts as happened in the case of Sharon Stone, where the father was awarded child custody in 2008 because, it was said, Stone is a celebrity without the stability of someone not in the movie business.


It happens far too often, according to attorneys like Mysti Murphy
and mental health professionals who have examined this issue, looking
at the specific data regarding the problem and how it impacts couples
during and after a divorce.


The problem is widespread enough apparently for books to be written about it as well.    One of them is Dr, Darnall’s  "Divorce Casualties: Understanding Parental Alienation, 2nd Ed (2008)"
which has a new chapter “Legal and Ethical Challenges to PA and PAS”
that advertises itself as giving guidance to parents and answering some
of the legal questions involved in parental alienation syndrome.


The term was coined in 1985 by Dr. Richard A. Gardner
to describe a disorder that comes about in the context of child custody
disputes where there is a targeted campaign to minimize or denigrate a
parent in the eyes of a child.  Dr. Gardner maintains there are two
contributing factors, a form of brainwashing and the child's involvement
in supporting the alienating parent in the campaign to denigrate the
other parent.  It is usually a campaign without justification.


Some of the behaviors involved in Parental Alienation Syndrome include
making irrational or unsupported allegations of either sexual or
physical abuse, making defamatory statements about the other parent,
refusing to allow the other parent to have contact with the child,
telling the child too many details about the martial relationship, and
refusing to allow children to take their belongings between residences.
It also can incorporate involving the child in negative financial
complaints and other issues that are often highlighted as being the
fault of the other parent.


Dr. Darnall tells us, "It is important to keep in mind that that
alienation is not about the horrible parent or "bad guy," versus the
targeted parent or "good guy." The "bad guy-good guy" roles rotate. The same parent can be both the alienator and the victim, depending on how he or she is behaving.
It is not uncommon for a targeted parent to retaliate with alienating
behavior against the other parent. At this point, the parents have
reversed their roles.


This process can occur well before PAS manifest itself. The problem now
is that the alienation escalates back and forth, each parent retaliating
against the other. What does this do to your children? It is this
vicious cycle that must be prevented or stopped."


The mental health community is in a debate about whether or not the
syndrome is a classifiable mental health disorder to be included in the
DSMIV, which is the principal compendium for assessment standards
provided for mental health professions.


The behaviors, however, impact custody disputes, and often require legal
intervention to entangle, so that the problem is not just highlighted
by the medical services professions but by the legal profession as well.