Ways to enjoy the holidays and avoid being depressed

Valentine's Day tree

Thanksgiving Day has become an important one in the United States, with special dinners and other forms of celebration.  However, like the Christmas holidays, it can also bring depression, as can other holidays like Easter or Valentine's Day.   Some experts, however, remind us that whereas the holiday can be fun for many people, in many ways it can be a painful time for others, as it is a reminder to those without families that they are alone.

Sometimes the depression comes from believing that if an individual doesn't have a partner, he or she is somehow not as pretty, not as good as others or not as valuable a person in some way.  Much of this comes from issues surrounding self concept, which is why, if that's the source of the problem, then it becomes the foundation for therapeutic understanding and professional support, when that is available.  Being isolated from family at a holiday can be stressful.

The feelings of sadness that come with the holidays often develop from previous experiences and relationships.  The holidays can trigger memories, of good and bad times, of having people around or conversely having been alone on those special occasions and not knowing what to do.  For those people for whom the problem is not endogenous, i.e. a constitutional part of oneself, as depression can be, then there are ways to alleviate the negative feelings.  Much of that can be done pro-actively and also with attitude change.  It is the kind of advice mental health experts offer that can be helpful for many events and issues that might bring negative thoughts or feelings.

One way to change one's attitude is to avoid being bitter, jealous of others who are in a relationship.  Adjust the mindset.  Be happy for the joy in the lives of others.  Express it.  Congratulate friends and family who are enjoying one another.  People are attracted to folks who are upbeat in their own lives and who care for others.  That poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox that maintained the world will laugh when you do but will leave when you weep and will walk away has an element of truth in human behavior.

Go out.  Don't sit at home and mutter.  Instead mingle.  Don't go to those places where families tend to be in abundance.  Often there are those individuals who are also alone, or couples who go out on a holiday as a routine occasion, so the milieu should be comforting, pleasant and not overpowering with the numbers of people.  A holiday is also a time to visit a forum, attend a religious gathering or a media event.  It is also a time to help others for some organization or pick up some delicacy at that deli down the street where people of all sorts mingle.  Start a conversation on something different than the holiday.  Find something good about others and express it.

And finally think of yourself as whole, someone who has integrity within the self, who enjoys one's talents and qualities.  That aura of self-acceptance is attractive to others.

Finally, any day can be special if it is treated that way and the attitude to go with it is positive and upbeat.  A holiday is a day like others for doing good, being happy, offering positive movement in one's own life and taking charge of that.  It is often enough to get through those down times and often not only changes perspective but brings if not romance more friends into one's life.