Life-affirming lessons from a suicide

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A Dad’s Point-of-View by Bruce Sallan --There are many relationships we have in life, naturally. We have family, friends, business associates, and what I like to call, Virtual friends. Virtual friends are those we know via Social Media but may have never really met. I have many of these relationships, some of which have bloomed into meaningful associations and actual real-life friendships.

Recently, I learned that one of my Virtual friends had committed suicide. He was a very successful man, father of six, and one of those friends I’d never met or spoken with.  When I learned of his tragic death and the fact that he’d suffered from lifelong depression, I wondered if I might have made a difference had I made an effort to really know him? Depression is insidious and even those people who seem to have everything to live for can succumb to its tentacles of despair. This is evidently what happened to this man.

On further reflection, I realized my knowing him or not was irrelevant. What I took away from his death were all the reasons to live that I believe and that I believe we need to be reminded of and share. Life has so much to offer, so many riches to enjoy, so many experiences to have, that the idea of ending it anytime before the journey ends on its own is unfathomable to me. Maybe share this short list with someone you know who may be living through the trials of depression or may just need a little reminder of the joys to be found in living.



1. Don’t Give Up

Yes, it’s a corny saying but don’t give up. The world is filled with amazing stories of comebacks; of people who were so down they never thought they’d see up again. Why can’t you be that person? How many people do you know that have come back from a setback, or numerous setbacks?

I just think of my parents whenever I feel sorry for myself, which, these days, is less and less. Maybe I’ve actually begun to grow up in my sixth decade of life? My parents suffered the loss of two children, numerous diseases, and numerous financial hardships. My mother, in particular, always had a kind word and smile for everyone she encountered. My dad never complained. What do I have to complain about in comparison?



2. Be Grateful

Try to wake up each day and say “Thank You” for something good in your life. Maybe it’s waking up without pain and you say “Thanks” for simply feeling good? Maybe it’s the simple act of going to the bathroom and your plumbing is working? Imagine if it weren’t?

There is so much that most of us have to be grateful for that we take for granted. This is especially true for those of us fortunate enough to live in the U.S. or other countries with such a comfortable way of life. What if you woke up each day in the squalor of a poor African country and just quenching your thirst was a daily challenge?

3. This Too Shall Pass

This great saying is often attributed to Solomon, from biblical times. We don’t know where it truly came from. Often, someone will offer “This too shall pass” as words of comfort to someone going through something difficult. It’s true that most things do ease with time, even the death of a loved one.



I like to think of this phrase during the good times, as well, because anyone who has lived any length of time knows that the good times can go away just as easily as the bad times may ease with time. This lesson is simply to appreciate the good times and know that the bad times will likely fade.

4. Give Back

The best way to appreciate life, to count your own blessings, is to help others.  First, you will feel good. That is guaranteed. Second, you will potentially get a painful lesson in how lucky your life truly is.

Help an elderly person who is alone. Mentor a disabled child or adult. After all, disabled adults still need compassion yet we often direct our attentions and care to young disabled people. Volunteer at a hospital, health clinic, homeless shelter, and then come home and complain.

5. Get a Dog

We just recently lost one of our beloved dogs, Tache, at 15 years old. She had lived a full life and given us plenty of joy and companionship. I remember her and her boyfriend, Simon, most lovingly when I reflect on their devotion to me during a very rough passage in my life.  This occurred during the early months following the end of my first marriage. My soon-to-be ex-wife had left our home and our boys. I became a 24/7 single dad almost literally overnight. The boys were six and nine, and scared. They didn’t understand what was going on and, frankly, at times neither did I.

Many nights, after their bedtime, I would lie in bed brooding, thinking, and worrying. Most of those nights, the boys would sleepily come into my room and crawl into my bed, followed by Tache and Simon. I was always in the middle, crushed between my boys and 150 pounds of dogs. Those nights, those furry mouthfuls, kept me sane.

Of course, there’s a slight tongue-in-cheek attitude with number five, but having a pet during difficult times is quite comforting. Mainly, I hope to encourage everyone to stop and smell the roses, realize that hope springs eternal, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, there’s no time like the present, and to wish upon a star. It will be all right…



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Bruce Sallan, author of “A Dad’s Point-of-View: We ARE Half the Equation” and radio

host of “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View” gave up a long-term showbiz

career to become a stay-at-home-dad. He has dedicated his new career to becoming THE

Dad advocate. He carries his mission with not only his book and radio show, but also

his column “A Dad’s Point-of-View”, syndicated in over 100 newspapers and websites

worldwide, and his dedication to his community on Facebook and Twitter. Join Bruce

and his community each Thursday for #DadChat, from 6pm -7pm PST, the Tweet Chat that

Bruce hosts.

Guns, altitude, low population increase suicide risk in Western states

GHN News Staff - The
West has the mountains but also the higher rates of suicide, that
researchers believe is associated with altitude, low population and gun
prevalence.

Those

mountains may be beautiful, but the higher altitudes may have something
to do with suicide rates being greater in those states where people
live at higher altitudes, according to new research from the University
of Utah Brain Institute.

Perry
F. Renshaw, M.D., Ph.D., MBA, professor of psychiatry at the U School
of Medicine and researcher with the Utah Science Technology and Research
(USTAR)
initiative,
and his associates report that risk for suicide increases by nearly
one-third at an altitude of 2000 meters, or 6,500 feet above sea level.

These results are now available in the Sept. 15, 2010, online edition of the American Journal of Psychiatry.

These
results are important in noting that those states in the West have the
highest average elevations and also the highest suicide rates.

In
2006, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico,
Arizona, and Oregon accounted for nine of the 10 highest suicide rates
in the country. Alaska also was in the top 10 in suicide rates.  Nevada
led at number 1.

“We
thought it was reasonable to ask if some aspect of high altitude is
related to suicide,” he said. “Altitude was the strongest factor we
could find in our study. But we believe there’s also some other factor
we can’t account for yet.”

Researchers
analyzed data from a U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
(CDC) database with information on 3,108 counties in the lower 48 states
and District of Columbia, Renshaw and his associates maintained their
conclusion that altitude is an independent risk factor for suicide.

"This
association may have arisen from the effects of metabolic stress
associated with mild hypoxia (inadequate oxygen intake)” in people with
mood disorders. In other words, people with problems such as depression
might be at greater risk for suicide if they live at higher altitudes."
Renshaw says.

Researchers
also found these same states with higher altitudes also had the higher
rates of gun ownership, which has already been established to figure in
higher suicide rates.

New data from the Utah Violent Death Reporting System shows suicides in
the state are on the rise, increasing nearly 13 percent from 2008 to
2009.

Colorado, the nation’s highest state in terms of elevation at an average
of 7,217 feet above sea level, had 15.8 suicides per 100,000 people,
the seventh highest rate. Nevada had the highest suicide rate at19.6 per
100,000 people.

These
same results were obtained from a replication of this research in Korea
by Namkug Kim, Ph.D., a post-doctoral fellow under Renshaw.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, guns are
used in 50 percent of all suicides.  It has also been found more than 60
percent of people who take their own lives have major depression at the
time.

Research has shown that lack of oxygen at higher altitudes is associated with worsening mood that can last for up to 90 days.

In
response to this study, William M. McMahon, M.D., professor and
chairman of psychiatry at the University of Utah, believes the study
will help in the understanding of higher suicide rates occur.
“Dissecting the many environmental and genetic factors leading to high
rates of suicide in Utah and the surrounding mountain states has been a
daunting task,” he said. “This study is a real milestone.”

Recession, unemployment dramatically increases risk of suicide

Carol Forsloff - Science finds a two to three times risk
of suicide in the mentally healthy population when a person is
unemployed.  The rate of long-term unemployment makes suicide a serious
issue, becoming increasingly pronounced in 2010.

Long-term unemployment means loss of homes, places to live, loss of contacts from

loss of communication devices and loss of self-concept.  With this comes
depression, without financial resources for help.

In an aimless circle, an individual is at risk for suicide, especially when there seems to be no end in sight, as CNN reported earlier this year regarding long-term unemployment.

We
all have heard about people jumping out of windows when the stock
market crashed in the 1920's.  Now there are stories on unemployment
forums of people who have killed themselves because the circle of despair, they believe, leaves them no alternative.

What
happens is that depression turns to anger, which is the face of
feelings of despair.  Anger is then displaced on families, friends and
even on talk forums, increasing even more the sense of frustration and
isolation.  That anger is often associated with workplace issues, either on the job or out of work and reflections on what one has lost in comparison with those who are still working.

That
person who looks through the proverbial window and sees satisfied
workers, feels isolated and angry.  It is that type of person who can
also "go postal" and rather than turn the violence on themselves, turn
it against others as well.

Last year Sodahead,
a well-known online newspaper - blog, reported on what they observed to
be a particularly horrendous event. "What a tragedy! The bodies of five
small children and their parents, all shot to death, in two upstairs
rooms of the family's home. The father shot and killed his 5 children,
wife, and then shot himself. The man left a note saying, "With no job
and 5 kids, better to end our lives." He also said on the note that he
blames his former company for getting laid off. Officials say man killed
family after he and his wife were terminated from jobs."

The
unemployment figures continue to stay high in the present recession,  as CNN reports,
with long-term unemployment growing.  This, mental health experts

declare, is a serious problem that needs to be addressed by communities.